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Thursday, February 11, 2010

Happy Saint Valentine's Day!!!!!

People, on 14 February, we’re celebrating love and affection between intimate companions. As everyone should remember, this holiday is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius I in 495 A.D.

You see, Valentine of Rome was a priest from Rome who was martyred on AD 269 and was buried on the Via Flaminia. You can check out his awesome relics at the Church of Saint Praxed in Rome, and at Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland.

Valentine of Terni (another fellow) became bishop of Interamna (modern Terni you see) about AD 197 and is said to have been martyred during the persecution under Emperor Aurelian. He is also buried on the Via Flaminia, but in a different location than Valentine of Rome. His relics are at the Basilica of Saint Valentine in Terni (Basilica di San Valentino)

The Catholic Encyclopedia also speaks of a third saint named Valentine who was mentioned in early martyrologies (I know, there is such thing…) under date of February 14 (visit my mini-library for this). He was martyred in Africa with a number of companions, but nothing more is known about him. (Not enough Valentines, is it?)

No romantic elements, materials, chemicals and other related stuffs are present in the original early medieval biographies of either of these martyrs. By the time a Saint Valentine became linked to romance in the fourteenth century, distinctions between Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni were utterly lost. Maybe the other Valentines never have seen roses before…

So, according to the 1969 revision of the Roman Catholic Calendar of Saints, the feast day of Saint Valentine on February 14 was removed from the General Roman Calendar and relegated to particular (local or even national) calendars for the following reason:
                "Though the memorial of Saint Valentine is ancient, it is left to particular calendars, since, apart from his name, nothing is known of Saint Valentine except that he was buried on the Via Flaminia on February 14."
 Ya, so, the valentine dude's not important because you guys are busy watching lions eating people. So, the Maltase from Balzan celebrate the dude’s feast day, and people say the relics of the saint are can be found there, and also throughout the world by Traditionalist Catholics (Caveman Catholics) who follow the older, pre-Vatican II calendar (this was during the big, big shift).

According to The Early Medieval acta version, St Valentine was persecuted as a Christian and interrogated by Roman Emperor Claudius II in person. Emperor Claudius was like totally impressed by Valentine and had a discussion with him, attempting to get him to convert to Roman paganism in order to save his butt. Valentine was like “No way man!!Why not convert to Christianity, its wicked awesome dude!” Because of this, he was executed. Before they chop him up and serve him in Roman stew, he performed a miracle, which was healing his jailer’s blind daughter, just like Christ, but Christ did it in style though…..

Legenda Aurea still provides no links or connections to whatsoever with sentimental love, smoochies, chocolates and hugs, which have been digested biologically in our time to portray Saint Valentine as a priest who said NO WAY to an unattested law attributed to Roman Emperor Claudius II, allegedly ordering that young men REMAIN SINGLE. The Emperor whacked this just to grow his army, believing that married men are the worst soldiers, EVA. The priest Valentine, however, secretly performed marriage ceremonies for young men. When Claudius found out about this, he had Valentine arrested and thrown in jail. So, according to History.com, there’s this embellishment to The Golden Legend provided by American Greetings, Inc., on the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he wrote the first "valentine" himself, addressed to a young girl variously identified as his beloved, as the jailer's daughter whom he had befriended and healed, or both. It was a note that read "From your Valentine.”

Guess Valentine could end up as an ophthalmologist…healing the blind, and of course, we won’t get chocolates, cards and roses…but a pair of glasses or contact lenses on every 14th February…

So he was buried on February 14th,
and that he wrote his last letter to his friend,
executed by the Romans,
the guilt of receiving roses...
Lawls, Happy Valentine's!

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