"No pharmaceutical product could ever equal the rush you get when the band hits that groove, the people are dancing, shouting, and swaying, and the house is rocking!" [...]
"You may go if you wish. But remember this: walk away now and you walk away from your crafts, your skills, your vocations; leaving the next generation with nothing but recycled, digitally-sampled techno-grooves, quasi-synth rhythms, pseudo-songs of violence-laden gangsta-rap, acid pop, and simpering, saccharine, soulless slush. Depart now and you forever separate yourselves from the vital American legacies of Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, Willie Dixon, Jimmy Reed, Memphis Slim, Blind Boy Fuller, Louie Jordon, Little Walter, Big Walter, Sonnyboy Williamson I and II, Otis Redding, Jackie Wilson, Elvis Presley, Lieber and Stoller, and Robert K. Weiss".
"Who is Robert K. Weiss?"
"Turn your backs now and you snuff out the fragile candles of Blues, R&B and Soul, and when those flames flicker and expire, the light of the world is extinguished because the music which has moved mankind through seven decades leading to the millennium will whither and die on the vine of abandonment and neglect".
-Elwood Blues-
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Cake
Just to let you people know...
That it's possible...
to try making pandan cake...
and suddenly end up with a cheese cake...
eventhough you got your ingredients right...
for Hasvinder Kaur and Farhana Nohrin...
:)
That it's possible...
to try making pandan cake...
and suddenly end up with a cheese cake...
eventhough you got your ingredients right...
for Hasvinder Kaur and Farhana Nohrin...
:)
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Kabus dan Kabut
Aku masih ingat hari aku belajar perbezaan antara kabus dengan kabut
Lava: Cikgu, kabus dengan kabut tuh ape bezanyer?
Cikgu: Kabus tuh jadi kat lebih 1000m, kabut tuh kurang darr 1000m, selalunyer terbentuk kat laut..
Lava :Abis, apesal pulak name dier lain2?
Cikgu: Tempat lain, name dier lain..
Lava: Jadik, kalo kat sini azmi, kat US ezmi? (wakakakaka)
Cikgu: Ialah...kalo luar gunung berapi tuh lava, kalau dalam gunung berapi tuh namenyer magma....
Lava:........
Kamie: padan muker kaw!
Lava: Cikgu, kabus dengan kabut tuh ape bezanyer?
Cikgu: Kabus tuh jadi kat lebih 1000m, kabut tuh kurang darr 1000m, selalunyer terbentuk kat laut..
Lava :Abis, apesal pulak name dier lain2?
Cikgu: Tempat lain, name dier lain..
Lava: Jadik, kalo kat sini azmi, kat US ezmi? (wakakakaka)
Cikgu: Ialah...kalo luar gunung berapi tuh lava, kalau dalam gunung berapi tuh namenyer magma....
Lava:........
Kamie: padan muker kaw!
Friday, June 11, 2010
A must get poetic edda by Tolkien
I remember buying this after hearing HarperCollins releasing it, on May 5th 2009. It was written by Tolkien in the 1920's and remained unpublish till the very recent. Those who are interested in poetic edda, traditional poetry or a Tolkien maniac should have a copy. His son did a good job on the commentary.
You'll understand it better if you're familiar with german mythology. Remember the legend of Sigurd and the fall of the Niflungs?Without my middle english vocab revision, I was able to catch most during Signy.
I've gone through this work of Tolkien's four times. Thought of starting a poetic edda myself, but I laughed at that thought...myself.
I shall post a summary written by myself, with my notes and references I make to the usage of the language of the middle earth for anyone's convenience, but will do after I restart posting "Fingery Usage for the modern English language", you'll see it now and then.
Dont worry, I will slot some fingeries for middle english usage (I could see faces of concern among my old readers).
Till then...like my golden badge would always say my boys, "read"
Monday, June 7, 2010
The Dead Zebra
We saw a dead zebra
in the drain ; beside the post office
We saw a dead monkey
and a man begging for money
beside a crowded morning clinic
We saw a chimpanzee gasping for air
and a chimp barely able to breathe (in the sea)
We saw a man wearing zebra clothes
crossing the zebra crossing
We saw a man wearing zigzag clothes
crossing the zigzag crossing
Why should we all suffer like this
We want to remove all zebra crossings
We want to remove all zigzag crossings
We want clean air for the chimpanzees
We want money to be given to the man with the dead monkey
We want the DBKL to clean the drain,
which got clogged by the dead zebra
We want John Masters and Polo given to people who wear
crap clothes
Let us decide what the community rights should be;
for now and forever.
By Hasvinder Kaur and Lavania Sugu
17th October 2006
in the drain ; beside the post office
We saw a dead monkey
and a man begging for money
beside a crowded morning clinic
We saw a chimpanzee gasping for air
and a chimp barely able to breathe (in the sea)
We saw a man wearing zebra clothes
crossing the zebra crossing
We saw a man wearing zigzag clothes
crossing the zigzag crossing
Why should we all suffer like this
We want to remove all zebra crossings
We want to remove all zigzag crossings
We want clean air for the chimpanzees
We want money to be given to the man with the dead monkey
We want the DBKL to clean the drain,
which got clogged by the dead zebra
We want John Masters and Polo given to people who wear
crap clothes
Let us decide what the community rights should be;
for now and forever.
By Hasvinder Kaur and Lavania Sugu
17th October 2006
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Careers in Geosciences
Geoscientists follow paths of exploration and discovery in quest of solutions to some of society's most challenging problems.
What is a GEOSCIENTIST?
Geoscientists are stewards or caretakers of Earth's resources and environment. They work to understand natural processes on Earth and other planets. Investigating the Earth, its soils, oceans, and atmosphere; forecasting the weather; developing land-use plans; exploring other planets and the solar system; determining environmental impacts; and finding new sources of useful Earth materials are just a few of the ways geoscientists contribute to our understanding of Earth processes and history. Geoscientists provide essential information for solving problems and establishing governmental policies for resource management; environmental protection; and public health, safety, and welfare.
Geoscientists are curious about the Earth and the solar system. Is there life on other planets? How are they changing? What effects will shrinking glaciers have on the oceans and climate? What makes a continent move, a mountain form, a volcano erupt? Why did the dinosaurs become extinct?
Geoscientists are concerned about the Earth. How is the global climate changing? How do Earth systems work? How and where should we dispose of industrial wastes? How can society's growing demands for energy and water be satisfied while conserving natural resources for future generations? As global populations increase, can we grow enough food and fiber to sustain them?
The Earth is an outdoor laboratory filled with opportunities to observe Earth processes in action. By applying their knowledge of forces and factors that shape the Earth, geoscientists seek to reconstruct the past and anticipate the future.
What Do GEOSCIENTISTS Do?
Geoscientists gather and interpret data about the Earth and other planets. They use their knowledge to increase our understanding of Earth processes and to improve the quality of human life. Their work and career paths vary widely because the geosciences are so broad and diverse. The National Science Foundation considers geology, geophysics, hydrology, oceanography, marine science, atmospheric science, planetary science, meteorology, environmental science, and soil science as the major geoscience disciplines. The following list gives a glimpse of what geoscientists do in these disciplines and a variety of subdisciplines.
Atmospheric scientists study weather processes; the global dynamics of climate; solar radiation and its effects; and the role of atmospheric chemistry in ozone depletion, climate change, and pollution.
Economic geologists explore for and develop metallic and nonmetallic resources; they study mineral deposits and find environmentally safe ways to dispose of waste materials from mining activities.
Engineering geologists apply geological data, techniques, and principles to the study of rock and soil surficial materials and ground water; they investigate geologic factors that affect structures such as bridges, buildings, airports, and dams.
Environmental geologists study the interaction between the geosphere, hydrosphere, atmosphere, biosphere, and human activities. They work to solve problems associated with pollution, waste management, urbanization, and natural hazards, such as flooding and erosion.
Geochemists use physical and inorganic chemistry to investigate the nature and distribution of major and trace elements in ground water and Earth materials; they use organic chemistry to study the composition of fossil fuel (coal, oil, and gas) deposits.
Geochronologists use the rates of decay of certain radioactive elements in rocks to determine their age and the time sequence of events in the history of the Earth.
Geologists study the materials, processes, products, physical nature, and history of the Earth.
Geomorphologists study Earth's landforms and landscapes in relation to the geologic and climatic processes and human activities, which form them.
Geophysicists apply the principles of physics to studies of the Earth's interior and investigate Earth's magnetic, electric, and gravitational fields.
Glacial geologists study the physical properties and movement of glaciers and ice sheets.
Hydrogeologists study the occurrence, movement, abundance, distribution, and quality of subsurface waters and related geologic aspects of surface waters.
Hydrologists are concerned with water from the moment of precipitation until it evaporates into the atmosphere or is discharged into the ocean; for example, they study river systems to predict the impacts of flooding.
Marine geologists investigate the ocean-floor and ocean-continent boundaries; they study ocean basins, continental shelves, and the coastal environments on continental borders.
Meteorologists study the atmosphere and atmospheric phenomena, including the weather.
Mineralogists study mineral formation, composition, and properties.
Oceanographers investigate the physical, chemical, biological, and geologic dynamics of oceans.
Paleoecologists study the function and distribution of ancient organisms and their relationships to their environment.
Paleontologists study fossils to understand past life forms and their changes through time and to reconstruct past environments.
Petroleum geologists are involved in exploration for and production of oil and natural gas resources.
Petrologists determine the origin and natural history of rocks by analyzing mineral composition and grain relationships.
Planetary geologists study planets and their moons in order to understand the evolution of the solar system.
Sedimentologists study the nature, origin, distribution, and alteration of sediments, such as sand, silt, and mud. Oil, gas, coal and many mineral deposits occur in such sediments.
Seismologists study earthquakes and analyze the behavior of earthquake waves to interpret the structure of the Earth.
Soil scientists study soils and their properties to determine how to sustain agricultural productivity and to detect and remediate contaiminated soils.
Stratigraphers investigate the time and space relationships of rocks, on a local, regional, and global scale throughout geologic time -- especially the fossil and mineral content of layered rocks.
Structural geologists analyze Earth's forces by studying deformation, fracturing, and folding of the Earth's crust.
Volcanologists investigate volcanoes and volcanic phenomena to understand these natural hazards and predict eruptions.
Where Do GEOSCIENTISTS Work?
Geoscientists may be found sampling the deep ocean floor or examining rock specimens from the Moon or Mars. But the work of most geoscientists is more "down to Earth." They work as explorers for new mineral and hydrocarbon resources, consultants on engineering and environmental problems, researchers, teachers, writers, editors, and museum curators as well as in many other challenging positions. They often divide their time among work in the field, the laboratory, and the office.
Field work usually consists of making observations, exploring the subsurface by drilling or using geophysical tools, collecting samples, and making measurements that will be analyzed in the laboratory. For example, rock samples may be X-rayed, studied under an electron microscope, and analyzed to determine physical and chemical properties. Geoscientists may also conduct experiments or design computer models to test theories about geologic phenomena and processes.
In the office, they integrate field and laboratory data and prepare reports and presentations that include maps and diagrams that illustrate the results of their studies. Such maps may pinpoint the possible occurrence of ores, coal, oil, natural gas, water resources, or indicate subsurface conditions or hazards that might affect construction sites or land use.
Job and Salary OUTLOOK
The employment outlook in the geosciences -- as in any profession -- varies with the economic climate of the country. The long-range outlook is good at this time. Dwindling energy, mineral, and water resources along with increasing concerns about the environment and natural hazards present new challenges to geoscientists.
According to the National Science Foundation, about 125,000 geoscientists work in the United States. Most geoscientists are employed by industries related to oil and gas, mining and minerals and water resources.
Many geoscientists are self-employed as geological consultants or work with consulting firms. Most consulting geologists have had extensive professional experience in industry, teaching, or research.
Also, many geoscientists work for the federal government or a state government agency. The U.S. Geological Survey (Department of the Interior), Department of Energy, Department of Agriculture, Forest Service, National Aeronautics and Space Administration, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, state geological surveys, and state departments of environment and resources all employ geoscientists.
Salary scales vary from employer to employer depending on the career path, location, qualifications of the geoscientist, and, of course, the economy.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), jobs in the geosciences are expected to grow by 22 percent between 2006 and 2016. This is a much faster increase in employment tha the average for all occupations. Geoscientists with Master's degrees are expected to have the most employment opportunites of all degreed geoscientists.
Salary estimates released by BLS for 2008 indicated that the mean annual salary for geoscientists was $89,300. Geoscientists in the petroleum and mining industries earned the highest salaries ($95,200 - $130,620) and those in state government earned the least ($59,830). Geoscientist faculty earned a mean annual salary of $74,770 in 2008. Additionally, according to the National Association of Colleges and Employers, average starting salaries for college graduates with geoscience bachelor's degrees were $40,786 in 2007.
INTERESTED?
A strong interest in science and a good education are the most important elements in becoming a geoscientist. The geosciences draw on biology, chemistry, mathematics, physics, and engineering. High school courses related to these subjects plus a geology or earth-science course, or an integrated science curriculum, will help prepare you for college. Also, get a solid grounding in English, because geoscientists need to be able to write and speak clearly.
In choosing a college or university, look at the course listings for departments of geology, geoscience, earth-systems science, or environmental science to identify the geoscience programs that best match your interests. As in any profession, the applicants with the best qualifications get the best jobs. Most professional positions in the geosciences require a master's degree. A Ph.D. is needed for advancement in college teaching and in most high-level research positions.
-AGI-
- Predicting the behavior of Earth systems and the universe.
- Finding adequate supplies of natural resources, such as ground water, petroleum, and metals.
- Conserving soils and maintaining agricultural productivity.
- Developing natural resources in ways that safeguard the environment.
- Maintaining quality of water supplies.
- Reducing human suffering and property loss from natural hazards, such as volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, floods, landslides, hurricanes, and tsunamis.
- Determining geological controls on natural environments and habitats and predicting the impact of human activities on them.
- Defining the balance between society's demand for natural resources and the need to sustain healthy ecosystems.
- Understanding global climate patterns.
What is a GEOSCIENTIST?
Geoscientists are stewards or caretakers of Earth's resources and environment. They work to understand natural processes on Earth and other planets. Investigating the Earth, its soils, oceans, and atmosphere; forecasting the weather; developing land-use plans; exploring other planets and the solar system; determining environmental impacts; and finding new sources of useful Earth materials are just a few of the ways geoscientists contribute to our understanding of Earth processes and history. Geoscientists provide essential information for solving problems and establishing governmental policies for resource management; environmental protection; and public health, safety, and welfare.
Geoscientists are curious about the Earth and the solar system. Is there life on other planets? How are they changing? What effects will shrinking glaciers have on the oceans and climate? What makes a continent move, a mountain form, a volcano erupt? Why did the dinosaurs become extinct?
Geoscientists are concerned about the Earth. How is the global climate changing? How do Earth systems work? How and where should we dispose of industrial wastes? How can society's growing demands for energy and water be satisfied while conserving natural resources for future generations? As global populations increase, can we grow enough food and fiber to sustain them?
The Earth is an outdoor laboratory filled with opportunities to observe Earth processes in action. By applying their knowledge of forces and factors that shape the Earth, geoscientists seek to reconstruct the past and anticipate the future.
What Do GEOSCIENTISTS Do?
Geoscientists gather and interpret data about the Earth and other planets. They use their knowledge to increase our understanding of Earth processes and to improve the quality of human life. Their work and career paths vary widely because the geosciences are so broad and diverse. The National Science Foundation considers geology, geophysics, hydrology, oceanography, marine science, atmospheric science, planetary science, meteorology, environmental science, and soil science as the major geoscience disciplines. The following list gives a glimpse of what geoscientists do in these disciplines and a variety of subdisciplines.
Atmospheric scientists study weather processes; the global dynamics of climate; solar radiation and its effects; and the role of atmospheric chemistry in ozone depletion, climate change, and pollution.
Economic geologists explore for and develop metallic and nonmetallic resources; they study mineral deposits and find environmentally safe ways to dispose of waste materials from mining activities.
Engineering geologists apply geological data, techniques, and principles to the study of rock and soil surficial materials and ground water; they investigate geologic factors that affect structures such as bridges, buildings, airports, and dams.
Environmental geologists study the interaction between the geosphere, hydrosphere, atmosphere, biosphere, and human activities. They work to solve problems associated with pollution, waste management, urbanization, and natural hazards, such as flooding and erosion.
Geochemists use physical and inorganic chemistry to investigate the nature and distribution of major and trace elements in ground water and Earth materials; they use organic chemistry to study the composition of fossil fuel (coal, oil, and gas) deposits.
Geochronologists use the rates of decay of certain radioactive elements in rocks to determine their age and the time sequence of events in the history of the Earth.
Geologists study the materials, processes, products, physical nature, and history of the Earth.
Geomorphologists study Earth's landforms and landscapes in relation to the geologic and climatic processes and human activities, which form them.
Geophysicists apply the principles of physics to studies of the Earth's interior and investigate Earth's magnetic, electric, and gravitational fields.
Glacial geologists study the physical properties and movement of glaciers and ice sheets.
Hydrogeologists study the occurrence, movement, abundance, distribution, and quality of subsurface waters and related geologic aspects of surface waters.
Hydrologists are concerned with water from the moment of precipitation until it evaporates into the atmosphere or is discharged into the ocean; for example, they study river systems to predict the impacts of flooding.
Marine geologists investigate the ocean-floor and ocean-continent boundaries; they study ocean basins, continental shelves, and the coastal environments on continental borders.
Meteorologists study the atmosphere and atmospheric phenomena, including the weather.
Mineralogists study mineral formation, composition, and properties.
Oceanographers investigate the physical, chemical, biological, and geologic dynamics of oceans.
Paleoecologists study the function and distribution of ancient organisms and their relationships to their environment.
Paleontologists study fossils to understand past life forms and their changes through time and to reconstruct past environments.
Petroleum geologists are involved in exploration for and production of oil and natural gas resources.
Petrologists determine the origin and natural history of rocks by analyzing mineral composition and grain relationships.
Planetary geologists study planets and their moons in order to understand the evolution of the solar system.
Sedimentologists study the nature, origin, distribution, and alteration of sediments, such as sand, silt, and mud. Oil, gas, coal and many mineral deposits occur in such sediments.
Seismologists study earthquakes and analyze the behavior of earthquake waves to interpret the structure of the Earth.
Soil scientists study soils and their properties to determine how to sustain agricultural productivity and to detect and remediate contaiminated soils.
Stratigraphers investigate the time and space relationships of rocks, on a local, regional, and global scale throughout geologic time -- especially the fossil and mineral content of layered rocks.
Structural geologists analyze Earth's forces by studying deformation, fracturing, and folding of the Earth's crust.
Volcanologists investigate volcanoes and volcanic phenomena to understand these natural hazards and predict eruptions.
Where Do GEOSCIENTISTS Work?
Geoscientists may be found sampling the deep ocean floor or examining rock specimens from the Moon or Mars. But the work of most geoscientists is more "down to Earth." They work as explorers for new mineral and hydrocarbon resources, consultants on engineering and environmental problems, researchers, teachers, writers, editors, and museum curators as well as in many other challenging positions. They often divide their time among work in the field, the laboratory, and the office.
Field work usually consists of making observations, exploring the subsurface by drilling or using geophysical tools, collecting samples, and making measurements that will be analyzed in the laboratory. For example, rock samples may be X-rayed, studied under an electron microscope, and analyzed to determine physical and chemical properties. Geoscientists may also conduct experiments or design computer models to test theories about geologic phenomena and processes.
In the office, they integrate field and laboratory data and prepare reports and presentations that include maps and diagrams that illustrate the results of their studies. Such maps may pinpoint the possible occurrence of ores, coal, oil, natural gas, water resources, or indicate subsurface conditions or hazards that might affect construction sites or land use.
Job and Salary OUTLOOK
The employment outlook in the geosciences -- as in any profession -- varies with the economic climate of the country. The long-range outlook is good at this time. Dwindling energy, mineral, and water resources along with increasing concerns about the environment and natural hazards present new challenges to geoscientists.
According to the National Science Foundation, about 125,000 geoscientists work in the United States. Most geoscientists are employed by industries related to oil and gas, mining and minerals and water resources.
Many geoscientists are self-employed as geological consultants or work with consulting firms. Most consulting geologists have had extensive professional experience in industry, teaching, or research.
Also, many geoscientists work for the federal government or a state government agency. The U.S. Geological Survey (Department of the Interior), Department of Energy, Department of Agriculture, Forest Service, National Aeronautics and Space Administration, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, state geological surveys, and state departments of environment and resources all employ geoscientists.
Salary scales vary from employer to employer depending on the career path, location, qualifications of the geoscientist, and, of course, the economy.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), jobs in the geosciences are expected to grow by 22 percent between 2006 and 2016. This is a much faster increase in employment tha the average for all occupations. Geoscientists with Master's degrees are expected to have the most employment opportunites of all degreed geoscientists.
Salary estimates released by BLS for 2008 indicated that the mean annual salary for geoscientists was $89,300. Geoscientists in the petroleum and mining industries earned the highest salaries ($95,200 - $130,620) and those in state government earned the least ($59,830). Geoscientist faculty earned a mean annual salary of $74,770 in 2008. Additionally, according to the National Association of Colleges and Employers, average starting salaries for college graduates with geoscience bachelor's degrees were $40,786 in 2007.
INTERESTED?
A strong interest in science and a good education are the most important elements in becoming a geoscientist. The geosciences draw on biology, chemistry, mathematics, physics, and engineering. High school courses related to these subjects plus a geology or earth-science course, or an integrated science curriculum, will help prepare you for college. Also, get a solid grounding in English, because geoscientists need to be able to write and speak clearly.
In choosing a college or university, look at the course listings for departments of geology, geoscience, earth-systems science, or environmental science to identify the geoscience programs that best match your interests. As in any profession, the applicants with the best qualifications get the best jobs. Most professional positions in the geosciences require a master's degree. A Ph.D. is needed for advancement in college teaching and in most high-level research positions.
-AGI-
Monday, May 10, 2010
Dedicated to all Gaiman fans
I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things when nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Maryln Monroe and The Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen- I believe people are perfectible and that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkley lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in Drive-In movie theatres from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big ones come, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and aligators and toxic waste..I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of The Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian Shaman. I believe that Mankind's destiny lies in the stars, I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it is aerodinamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead) and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicity, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, life is a cruel joke and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Pendidikan Sivik dan Kewarganegaraan
Hari nih, aku hadir jenazah sedara kawan aku....lepas tuh, adelah seekor kucing hitam langkah mayat arwah sedara kawan aku tuh...lepas tuh, mayat tuh bangun, terkejut aku,dan dier pon tanyer semuer yang hadir...
"Aper korang bacer2 nih?"
Patutlah cikgu-cikgu sivik menekankan kepentingan belajar pantang larang tuh....benda2 yg termaktub dlm buku teks kiterorg tuh merupakan fakta yang tepat dan benar....
"Aper korang bacer2 nih?"
Patutlah cikgu-cikgu sivik menekankan kepentingan belajar pantang larang tuh....benda2 yg termaktub dlm buku teks kiterorg tuh merupakan fakta yang tepat dan benar....
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Kronologi Kisah nyanyuk Sharifah Mariam
Sharifah Mariam hari ini merupakan hari yg menakutkan.. aku terlupa aku letak kunci store atas boot krete.. lps tu bwk krete smpai slayang mall... nasib baik kunci tk jatuh... fuhh.. kalu tk abis la... huhuhu
Kamilia Sharir: kau memang!!bawak kreta pon salah lane!!BHAYA=/
Aziah Sulaiman :Mayam mmg budk yg sgt nyany0k,haha [via Celcom SMS]
Sharifah Mariam: aku blaja dari pengalamn... bkn mcm ko... tk penah blaja.. hahaha (mayam)
cammy,betoi3!!!!!aku ingt dh smpai ajal aku...
ngeri kowt,,,but klakar pown de gak....hakhak.... (sarah)
Kamilia Sharir :tu laaa pasal...dah la tak sampai 2 minggu nak spm time tuh..kalau tak...tak dpt la aku
nak meneruskan cita2 aku jd geologist...huhu=/ dah kembali ke bumi dah...
Thelava Tsugu: mariam...park kreta lupa kuncikan kreta...org dah bawak lari kreta tuh, lepas 4 tahun baru la "eh eh....kreta dah hilang..
.Kamilia Sharir :mayam mmg!!!mule lupe kunci kreta..pastuh bawak kreta in wrong lane pastuh letak kunci store atas kreta =.=!!kronology kisah nyanyuk mariam...
Thelava Tsugu: HAHA Kamie...betoi!!!
.Kamilia Sharir: see my wall!!!hahaha=P
Sarah Syahida: haha!!!!mayam mmg cepat lupa..nnti klu die g kuar ngan ank dier..ank2 dier gak dier lupa...hakhak..penyakit merbahaya...
.Kamilia Sharir: sarah...tgk page aku!!
Thelava Tsugu: "cik mariam, nih..ank2 kamu?"
"entahla....rasanyer kowt..."
.Sarah Syahida: cammy:wokey cyang!!
lava:x de nyer kowt2 dh....
Kamilia Sharir :culik bawak pergi siam!!
Thelava Tsugu: culik bawak pegi siam masak tom yam khung!!! restaurant kat asoke!!
· .Kamilia Sharir :fffuhhhhh...sedaaaapppp!!!ahakxxx...
Thelava Tsugu: sedap hingga menjilat jari!!
· .Kamilia Sharir :jari kaki!!hahahaha...beli lah kasut kat BATA
Sarah Syahida :jari kaki ko bergerutu...nk jilat kew!!!hakhak...
.Kamilia Sharir "yg itu lah lemak....wahahahaha...eeewww
Sarah Syahida" lemak tepu!!!!geli aku...hakhak....
Kamilia Sharir & Thelava Tsugu sedang melayari kronologi kisah nyanyuk Sharifah Mariam =/
Thelava Tsugu :Spesis kajian, iaitu mariam didapati sedang melalui fasa kenyanyukan yg melampaui batas!!
· .Kamilia Sharir :tahu tak pe...=/ sedih!!dia tuh kwn kite...takut berjangkit pulak..
.Kamilia Sharir: 1. lupe kunci kereta
2.bawa kereta in wrong lane
3. letak kunci store atas kereta
4. lupe anak letak kat mana =/ ........
sah!!kwn baik aku nyanyuk......sian...
.Sarah Syahida: hakhak...cian kt spupu aku sowng 2...penyakit dier thap kritikal dh nie...cell2 sume mula mgurang...jd marilh mnum susu enfagrow!!!!!hakhak...
Kamilia Sharir :dia dah terlebih GROW!!!wahahahaha....
Sarah Syahida: hakhak...2 msalah dier..aku x nk msuk campo...ko plak x grow2....huhu....
.Kamilia Sharir: sial kau!!!ahakzxxx....org2 terlebih grow cepat nyanyuk...sbb tuh aku tanak grow =)
.Sarah Syahida :hakhak...klu org cm ko plak org yg cepat sesat2....
x nmpak jlan......coz 2 ko sesat...hakhak...(sarah)
sengal ko cammy.. nnt sku jmpe ko.. sku nk pow ko cukp2.. huh!! (mariam)
Kamilia Sharir: i back ur pardon???????wahahahahaha LALALALa
Kamilia Sharir: kau memang!!bawak kreta pon salah lane!!BHAYA=/
Aziah Sulaiman :Mayam mmg budk yg sgt nyany0k,haha [via Celcom SMS]
Sharifah Mariam: aku blaja dari pengalamn... bkn mcm ko... tk penah blaja.. hahaha (mayam)
cammy,betoi3!!!!!aku ingt dh smpai ajal aku...
ngeri kowt,,,but klakar pown de gak....hakhak.... (sarah)
Kamilia Sharir :tu laaa pasal...dah la tak sampai 2 minggu nak spm time tuh..kalau tak...tak dpt la aku
nak meneruskan cita2 aku jd geologist...huhu=/ dah kembali ke bumi dah...
Thelava Tsugu: mariam...park kreta lupa kuncikan kreta...org dah bawak lari kreta tuh, lepas 4 tahun baru la "eh eh....kreta dah hilang..
.Kamilia Sharir :mayam mmg!!!mule lupe kunci kreta..pastuh bawak kreta in wrong lane pastuh letak kunci store atas kreta =.=!!kronology kisah nyanyuk mariam...
Thelava Tsugu: HAHA Kamie...betoi!!!
.Kamilia Sharir: see my wall!!!hahaha=P
Sarah Syahida: haha!!!!mayam mmg cepat lupa..nnti klu die g kuar ngan ank dier..ank2 dier gak dier lupa...hakhak..penyakit merbahaya...
.Kamilia Sharir: sarah...tgk page aku!!
Thelava Tsugu: "cik mariam, nih..ank2 kamu?"
"entahla....rasanyer kowt..."
.Sarah Syahida: cammy:wokey cyang!!
lava:x de nyer kowt2 dh....
Kamilia Sharir :culik bawak pergi siam!!
Thelava Tsugu: culik bawak pegi siam masak tom yam khung!!! restaurant kat asoke!!
· .Kamilia Sharir :fffuhhhhh...sedaaaapppp!!!ahakxxx...
Thelava Tsugu: sedap hingga menjilat jari!!
· .Kamilia Sharir :jari kaki!!hahahaha...beli lah kasut kat BATA
Sarah Syahida :jari kaki ko bergerutu...nk jilat kew!!!hakhak...
.Kamilia Sharir "yg itu lah lemak....wahahahaha...eeewww
Sarah Syahida" lemak tepu!!!!geli aku...hakhak....
Kamilia Sharir & Thelava Tsugu sedang melayari kronologi kisah nyanyuk Sharifah Mariam =/
Thelava Tsugu :Spesis kajian, iaitu mariam didapati sedang melalui fasa kenyanyukan yg melampaui batas!!
· .Kamilia Sharir :tahu tak pe...=/ sedih!!dia tuh kwn kite...takut berjangkit pulak..
.Kamilia Sharir: 1. lupe kunci kereta
2.bawa kereta in wrong lane
3. letak kunci store atas kereta
4. lupe anak letak kat mana =/ ........
sah!!kwn baik aku nyanyuk......sian...
.Sarah Syahida: hakhak...cian kt spupu aku sowng 2...penyakit dier thap kritikal dh nie...cell2 sume mula mgurang...jd marilh mnum susu enfagrow!!!!!hakhak...
Kamilia Sharir :dia dah terlebih GROW!!!wahahahaha....
Sarah Syahida: hakhak...2 msalah dier..aku x nk msuk campo...ko plak x grow2....huhu....
.Kamilia Sharir: sial kau!!!ahakzxxx....org2 terlebih grow cepat nyanyuk...sbb tuh aku tanak grow =)
.Sarah Syahida :hakhak...klu org cm ko plak org yg cepat sesat2....
x nmpak jlan......coz 2 ko sesat...hakhak...(sarah)
sengal ko cammy.. nnt sku jmpe ko.. sku nk pow ko cukp2.. huh!! (mariam)
Kamilia Sharir: i back ur pardon???????wahahahahaha LALALALa
Monday, April 5, 2010
Mangsa ragut di tengah-tengah padang
KUALA LUMPUR 13 Dis - Seperti kelazimannya, sebilah rumput bertumbuh seawal pagi menghala ke arah sinaran cahaya matahari pagi. Pagi semalam, rumput tersebut bersantai melambai-lambai badannya di padang mainan Taman Peranin di Kilometer 5.6 seperti mana rumput-rumput yang lain.
Namun, tindakan rumput tersebut bertukar menjadi mimpi ngeri buatnya apabila rakan rumput sebelahnya diragut oleh seekor kambing berwarna coklat dalam kejadian kira-kira pukul 5.45 pagi ini.
Timbalan Ketua Polis Daerah Atol, Supritendan Kamilia Shahrir berkata, ketika tiba di padang rumput tersebut, rakan serumput yang berusia 1 hari itu menyedari terdapat 4 ekor kambing di kawasan itu.
Katanya, selepas selasai menikmati sinaran matahari pagi itu , mangsa berasa curiga dan takut diapa-apakan oleh sekumpulan kambing terbabit.
"Sewaktu rakan saya menikmati sinaran matahari dan angin yang meniup pada pagi itu,salah seorang daripada suspek meragut badan rakan saya dan mengunyah dia sampai hancur serta ditelan habis sebelum melarikan diri" katanya ketika ditemui semalam.
Tambah Kamie, mangsa ketika ini sudah melalui proses pencernaan yang ekstrem dan melampau dan pihaknya kini sedang berusaha mengesan suspek berdasarkan bentuk dan lengkukan kedua-dua tanduk suspek serta janggutnya.
Namun, tindakan rumput tersebut bertukar menjadi mimpi ngeri buatnya apabila rakan rumput sebelahnya diragut oleh seekor kambing berwarna coklat dalam kejadian kira-kira pukul 5.45 pagi ini.
Timbalan Ketua Polis Daerah Atol, Supritendan Kamilia Shahrir berkata, ketika tiba di padang rumput tersebut, rakan serumput yang berusia 1 hari itu menyedari terdapat 4 ekor kambing di kawasan itu.
Katanya, selepas selasai menikmati sinaran matahari pagi itu , mangsa berasa curiga dan takut diapa-apakan oleh sekumpulan kambing terbabit.
"Sewaktu rakan saya menikmati sinaran matahari dan angin yang meniup pada pagi itu,salah seorang daripada suspek meragut badan rakan saya dan mengunyah dia sampai hancur serta ditelan habis sebelum melarikan diri" katanya ketika ditemui semalam.
Tambah Kamie, mangsa ketika ini sudah melalui proses pencernaan yang ekstrem dan melampau dan pihaknya kini sedang berusaha mengesan suspek berdasarkan bentuk dan lengkukan kedua-dua tanduk suspek serta janggutnya.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Two Men Walking in the Park
Two men walking in the park, in winter, each wearing a long black coat, black trousers, a pair of black shoes and had their short hair combed back flat. They’re alone there, and nobody had the park in their mind and the bottom of their feet that afternoon. Everything was grey and cold, and only these two white men left animated in the park.
Assassin 1: I got my orders, I have to do this.
Assassin 2: What? You have to bring him in alive or dead?
Assassin 1: Dead. Dead as coal. I could not do it, not this time.
Assassin 2: Why? (Take a bite of an apple) You know this guy?
Assassin 1: Yup. Know him dead right, now, I have to know him dead, for real.
Assassin 2: Family of yours or something?
Assassin 1: Considered him as one not related though.
Assassin 2: You’ve been there before, you can do it again.
Assassin 1: Nope, this guy’s different. I could blow my mother’s head, but not his. He’s covered for me a lot. Don’t think I could live without him...
Assassin 2: Hope you’re talking about a friend as in friend, not more than that or something. Never knew if you’re one, might choke on my apple by the surprise...haha.
Assassin 1: What should I do then?
Assassin 2: Well, does he know what you’re doing for a living?
Assassin 1: Yup.
Assassin 2: You gonna use your working gun?
Assassin 1: Yup.
Assassin 2: Are you gonna tell him or making it a secret? It’s easier if you blow his brains out while he’s having lunch alone or while he’s in a shower or something...
Assassin 1: You think I should tell him?
Assassin 2: Well, if you think he’s not going to go “Shit man! You gonna kill me because boss thought I’mma threat?” That’s gonna end up in a movie one day (Gave the apple another bite)
Assassin 1: Yeah right (Gave a little laugh, even though he found it not funny at all). Killing this good friend of mine is no easy task, like I said, shooting my own mother is easier, it’s like killing your own partner if you’re a cop.
Assassin 2: Rough mission this time, huh? (Ponder on his apple, staring at the trees) Haha, I’m your partner, try shooting me! Imagine that! You’re gonna tell me you’re gonna kill me cause you have to! Amazingly weird!
Assassin 1: HAHAHA! Yeah! Like “Hey man, Boss’s not happy with you, guess I have to blow your brains” HAHAHA...hilarious...
Assassin 1: Well...I just did.
Assassin 1: I got my orders, I have to do this.
Assassin 2: What? You have to bring him in alive or dead?
Assassin 1: Dead. Dead as coal. I could not do it, not this time.
Assassin 2: Why? (Take a bite of an apple) You know this guy?
Assassin 1: Yup. Know him dead right, now, I have to know him dead, for real.
Assassin 2: Family of yours or something?
Assassin 1: Considered him as one not related though.
Assassin 2: You’ve been there before, you can do it again.
Assassin 1: Nope, this guy’s different. I could blow my mother’s head, but not his. He’s covered for me a lot. Don’t think I could live without him...
Assassin 2: Hope you’re talking about a friend as in friend, not more than that or something. Never knew if you’re one, might choke on my apple by the surprise...haha.
Assassin 1: What should I do then?
Assassin 2: Well, does he know what you’re doing for a living?
Assassin 1: Yup.
Assassin 2: You gonna use your working gun?
Assassin 1: Yup.
Assassin 2: Are you gonna tell him or making it a secret? It’s easier if you blow his brains out while he’s having lunch alone or while he’s in a shower or something...
Assassin 1: You think I should tell him?
Assassin 2: Well, if you think he’s not going to go “Shit man! You gonna kill me because boss thought I’mma threat?” That’s gonna end up in a movie one day (Gave the apple another bite)
Assassin 1: Yeah right (Gave a little laugh, even though he found it not funny at all). Killing this good friend of mine is no easy task, like I said, shooting my own mother is easier, it’s like killing your own partner if you’re a cop.
Assassin 2: Rough mission this time, huh? (Ponder on his apple, staring at the trees) Haha, I’m your partner, try shooting me! Imagine that! You’re gonna tell me you’re gonna kill me cause you have to! Amazingly weird!
Assassin 1: HAHAHA! Yeah! Like “Hey man, Boss’s not happy with you, guess I have to blow your brains” HAHAHA...hilarious...
Assassin 2: Yeah...fuh! ...So, are you gonna tell this fellow you’re about to kill him, and that you have to?
Assassin 1: Well...I just did.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
We Should Blame Mona for 2012
Mona is 65 years old. She lives with her evil step-sister, Eva. They don’t have any children, neither a grandchild. Eva is truly evil. She’s always evil. She treats Mona in a bad way. Mona will have to do all the hard work and difficult chores, while Eva sits in garden, drinking expansive tea, in her neat costly clothes, ordering Mona what to do next. Mona, being a nice old lady, wearing rags and all, obeyed. Because I just absolutely hate typing, I am going to have you to picture Mona as Cinderella, OK?
In the tele one day, the both of them saw the Prime Minister announcing some grandma-babysitting contest, which will be held in their town. The goal is to look for an ideal grandma to take care of the Prime Ministers kids when he’s away. Of course, as you have guessed it, Eva gets to enrol herself in the competition while Mona had no choice but to do more house work at home. So, Mona started to feel like as if her life is a waste, and she would not have much time for anything. So she sat at the fire place, and cried, while Eva was in town, filling up her forms.
While Mona was crying her grey hair out, a magical fairy-alien creature with goggle like eyes and green skin, no taller than 3 feet, appeared out of the fireplace. It startled Mona. She tried running away, but by the time she made to the door, we will all be asleep. The fairy-alien creature then said “Not to worry, old female human specimen, I am your fairy-alien companion. I am here to help you because your step-sister has practice some sort of injustice towards you”. Mona began to feel ridiculous about being afraid of the extra-terrestrial creature, and began to trust what she has seen. “Mr. Magic Alien Sir, I really wanted to be in that grandma-babysitting competition, it’s the only way out, for a better life!”
“That’s what I’m here for, Mona.”
The fairy-alien creature took out some sort of a GPS wand, and gave it a wave. Then, Mona found herself in a large tube. The tube was then filled with smoke, suffocating Mona a little. Then, the walls of the tube slide open, and Mona stepped out of it with a neatly pinned hair bun, proper glasses, proper dress and proper choppers teeth. She had proper shoes and a nanny bag filled with supplies.
“I’ll teleport you to town, for the day’s program. There are five grandmothers attending. One of them is your sister. At the end of the day, the children’s vote will be taken for the winner, and the winning grandmother will have a chance of a better life. But beware, by the end of the day, all the neat and proper things you had been given to from the tube will evaporate. So, you must leave before midnight, or your sister will find out and sabotage you”
“Oh fairy-alien creature, thank you ever so much!”
“Just doing my inter-galactic job”. Then, a little spaceship carried Mona away to town, and the fairy-alien teleported to another world to do his duties. At the Prime Minister’s house, four grandmothers are already there when Mona arrived, and Mona gave her already prepared forms. The entire day, they all spent their time baby-sitting the Prime Minister’s children. All grandmothers who were there gave up their intentions and purposes towards the children, while they enjoy the facilities in the house, the bar, Jacuzzi, handsome old mans in the band playing the blues. Eva was enjoying the tv set, ignoring the annoying children and their tea time. Mona on the other hand, spent time with the children, take them for walks, made them cookies, read them stories, watch them on their naps and play game with them, and at the same time, taking care of them n the right way. At the end of the day, the children loved Mona. Before the children give their vote on which contestant was the best baby-sitting grandmother, all five old ladies, the children and the Prime Minister himself sat on the table, ready to have a wonderful dinner. The children kept on talking about Mona and how much they like her. Eva got very jealous. When the clock chimed eleven at night, Mona left the dinner in a hurry, apologizing on the way. When she left the table, she left out her perfect set of fake teeth by accident, but was in a hurry to leave, never bother to turn and take them. She ran and ran until she reached the streets, and whatever she had with her evaporated. So, she returned home, hoping never to be found by the Prime Minister. They all knew that night that Mona is the winner, but their winner is missing. Eva liked that. She liked that because when she returned home, she had Mona locked up in her room, never to come out, as the next day, people were sent out to look for Mona.
“Our search will be difficult. We only know Mona as Mona herself. There are many grandmothers out there. But not to worry, for we have Mona’s set of fake teeth she left back at the house, and we’ll search every grandmother in town base on the fake teeth.” said the Prime Minister. Eva knew she had the chance; she cleared up the whole house for his coming. After searching the whole town, with every grandmother calling themselves Mona, to find the teeth never fit, the last house to stop is Eva’s. At Eva’s, the fake teeth was forced into her gums, by herself. But the children were there, and they knew she wasn’t Eva. So, the youngest one, who has the sharpest hearing, heard Mona crying upstairs. He ran up, and had the door unlocked. Mona came out, and got the teeth to fit. But the upper set was with Eva, so she tossed in the fire. They were all upset, but not for long. Mona had the bottom set, which fits just fine. And so they found Mona. But the teeth Eva tossed in the fire started to prickle and let out smoke. The people in the room started to inhale the smoke, and started coughing out blood. Then, they all drop on the floor and die. When the police found their rotting bodies, they caught up a disease, transmitted through the bodies. The plague then went airborne, and scientist found no cure. Sooner, almost the entire human race was wiped out.
You see, the fairy-alien was not fairy. He’s only an extra-terrestrial being. He and his kind are planning to take over the planet and use its resources. They have to get rid of the dominant species which rule the planet. They studied human kind for millenniums, and have taken The Cinderella Story seriously. They watched every one of us, and found Mona, and her similarities to the story. They knew Eva would react the way she reacted, and so they made such a set of teeth that would bring an incurable plague, for they have studied the human anatomy and found a virus that can destroy all people. And so…the aliens won. What? Wasn’t what you wanted to hear?
In the tele one day, the both of them saw the Prime Minister announcing some grandma-babysitting contest, which will be held in their town. The goal is to look for an ideal grandma to take care of the Prime Ministers kids when he’s away. Of course, as you have guessed it, Eva gets to enrol herself in the competition while Mona had no choice but to do more house work at home. So, Mona started to feel like as if her life is a waste, and she would not have much time for anything. So she sat at the fire place, and cried, while Eva was in town, filling up her forms.
While Mona was crying her grey hair out, a magical fairy-alien creature with goggle like eyes and green skin, no taller than 3 feet, appeared out of the fireplace. It startled Mona. She tried running away, but by the time she made to the door, we will all be asleep. The fairy-alien creature then said “Not to worry, old female human specimen, I am your fairy-alien companion. I am here to help you because your step-sister has practice some sort of injustice towards you”. Mona began to feel ridiculous about being afraid of the extra-terrestrial creature, and began to trust what she has seen. “Mr. Magic Alien Sir, I really wanted to be in that grandma-babysitting competition, it’s the only way out, for a better life!”
“That’s what I’m here for, Mona.”
The fairy-alien creature took out some sort of a GPS wand, and gave it a wave. Then, Mona found herself in a large tube. The tube was then filled with smoke, suffocating Mona a little. Then, the walls of the tube slide open, and Mona stepped out of it with a neatly pinned hair bun, proper glasses, proper dress and proper choppers teeth. She had proper shoes and a nanny bag filled with supplies.
“I’ll teleport you to town, for the day’s program. There are five grandmothers attending. One of them is your sister. At the end of the day, the children’s vote will be taken for the winner, and the winning grandmother will have a chance of a better life. But beware, by the end of the day, all the neat and proper things you had been given to from the tube will evaporate. So, you must leave before midnight, or your sister will find out and sabotage you”
“Oh fairy-alien creature, thank you ever so much!”
“Just doing my inter-galactic job”. Then, a little spaceship carried Mona away to town, and the fairy-alien teleported to another world to do his duties. At the Prime Minister’s house, four grandmothers are already there when Mona arrived, and Mona gave her already prepared forms. The entire day, they all spent their time baby-sitting the Prime Minister’s children. All grandmothers who were there gave up their intentions and purposes towards the children, while they enjoy the facilities in the house, the bar, Jacuzzi, handsome old mans in the band playing the blues. Eva was enjoying the tv set, ignoring the annoying children and their tea time. Mona on the other hand, spent time with the children, take them for walks, made them cookies, read them stories, watch them on their naps and play game with them, and at the same time, taking care of them n the right way. At the end of the day, the children loved Mona. Before the children give their vote on which contestant was the best baby-sitting grandmother, all five old ladies, the children and the Prime Minister himself sat on the table, ready to have a wonderful dinner. The children kept on talking about Mona and how much they like her. Eva got very jealous. When the clock chimed eleven at night, Mona left the dinner in a hurry, apologizing on the way. When she left the table, she left out her perfect set of fake teeth by accident, but was in a hurry to leave, never bother to turn and take them. She ran and ran until she reached the streets, and whatever she had with her evaporated. So, she returned home, hoping never to be found by the Prime Minister. They all knew that night that Mona is the winner, but their winner is missing. Eva liked that. She liked that because when she returned home, she had Mona locked up in her room, never to come out, as the next day, people were sent out to look for Mona.
“Our search will be difficult. We only know Mona as Mona herself. There are many grandmothers out there. But not to worry, for we have Mona’s set of fake teeth she left back at the house, and we’ll search every grandmother in town base on the fake teeth.” said the Prime Minister. Eva knew she had the chance; she cleared up the whole house for his coming. After searching the whole town, with every grandmother calling themselves Mona, to find the teeth never fit, the last house to stop is Eva’s. At Eva’s, the fake teeth was forced into her gums, by herself. But the children were there, and they knew she wasn’t Eva. So, the youngest one, who has the sharpest hearing, heard Mona crying upstairs. He ran up, and had the door unlocked. Mona came out, and got the teeth to fit. But the upper set was with Eva, so she tossed in the fire. They were all upset, but not for long. Mona had the bottom set, which fits just fine. And so they found Mona. But the teeth Eva tossed in the fire started to prickle and let out smoke. The people in the room started to inhale the smoke, and started coughing out blood. Then, they all drop on the floor and die. When the police found their rotting bodies, they caught up a disease, transmitted through the bodies. The plague then went airborne, and scientist found no cure. Sooner, almost the entire human race was wiped out.
You see, the fairy-alien was not fairy. He’s only an extra-terrestrial being. He and his kind are planning to take over the planet and use its resources. They have to get rid of the dominant species which rule the planet. They studied human kind for millenniums, and have taken The Cinderella Story seriously. They watched every one of us, and found Mona, and her similarities to the story. They knew Eva would react the way she reacted, and so they made such a set of teeth that would bring an incurable plague, for they have studied the human anatomy and found a virus that can destroy all people. And so…the aliens won. What? Wasn’t what you wanted to hear?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
The NameLess last show
The last time music was at its best was the year 1989. When 1990 was welcomed, the world of music crashed. That’s when all believe the world would end. As in Neil Gaiman’s Anansi Boys, when things were created, they were sung, and therefore, music was the first matter to ever be created. Even the Big Bang was music itself, as music is a combination of sounds and silence. But whatever the cause, people gave up, and let neither sounds nor silence to take over their lives as it should be. Then, as if God was pitiful of the beings he created, and there was nothing worthy and new sung to exist, in the year 2004, music began to bloom and soon as it touches the year 2007, it has moved from an A to an incredible and everlasting (hopefully) A+.
By June 2010, The NameLess will be 3 years old. We have all grown up. We got a ‘bandly’ name eventually, names after some friends at school, who have never met The NameLess ( TheLaVa's schoolmates, you know who you are). It’s time to expand our knowledge of an incredible universal language. As individuals, we will go our separate ways to create what other artists out there create, possibly if it could change the world, it would be even better. It was nice to have someone walk towards you while you were in line at a donut store, shake hands with you and tell you that your previous show was wonderful and hope to see you perform again, soon. Yes, we will perform soon, the last time as The NameLess.
Exact date will be informed. The NameLess will try their very best to get a shot at The Royal Selangor Club, and possibly somewhere in Singapore and DEFINITELY Japan (as we do have fans there, really, Japanese can be fans to almost anything). Some will move to a different band, some will go for pop. I will. BE there, it would be terribly awesome. The NameLess thank everyone for their support, cheers, screaming and rotten tomatoes.
By June 2010, The NameLess will be 3 years old. We have all grown up. We got a ‘bandly’ name eventually, names after some friends at school, who have never met The NameLess ( TheLaVa's schoolmates, you know who you are). It’s time to expand our knowledge of an incredible universal language. As individuals, we will go our separate ways to create what other artists out there create, possibly if it could change the world, it would be even better. It was nice to have someone walk towards you while you were in line at a donut store, shake hands with you and tell you that your previous show was wonderful and hope to see you perform again, soon. Yes, we will perform soon, the last time as The NameLess.
Exact date will be informed. The NameLess will try their very best to get a shot at The Royal Selangor Club, and possibly somewhere in Singapore and DEFINITELY Japan (as we do have fans there, really, Japanese can be fans to almost anything). Some will move to a different band, some will go for pop. I will. BE there, it would be terribly awesome. The NameLess thank everyone for their support, cheers, screaming and rotten tomatoes.
Monday, February 15, 2010
The Greatest Disappointment
In June 2004, 20th Century Fox acquired feature film rights to the book. In April 2007, director Chris Columbus was hired to helm the project. Filming began in April 2009 in Vancouver. Portions of the film were shot at the Parthenon in Nashville, Tennessee, a full-scale replica of the original Parthenon in Athens. Filming wrapped up on the morning of July 25, 2009 in Vancouver, British Columbia. Digital intermediate work began in San Francisco in November 2009. Christophe Beck composed the score.
Columbus has stated that the cast were chosen specifically with sequels in mind. " I think with Percy Jackson it was a matter of finding the right cast to fit into these roles, sort of the perfect cast for these roles, because hopefully, God willing, we will go on to do other Percy Jackson films and you want the cast to grow with their characters."
Reviews for the film have been mixed, as indicated by a weighted average score of 48 out of 100 from Metacritic.The film currently holds a 47% 'Rotten' rating on Rotten Tomatoes, based on 78 reviews; the site's general consensus being that although the film "may seem like just another Harry Potter knockoff, the film benefits from a strong supporting cast, a speedy plot, and plenty of fun with Greek mythology". Kenneth Turan of Los Angeles Times described the film as "standard Hollywood product... unadventurous and uninteresting." The Washington Post reviewer thought "the movie suffers by taking itself a little too seriously. It's not just that it's a lot less funny than the book. It's also a lot less fun."
If Columbus were to touch another decent book, I swear upon The River Styx, I will pulverise him. He just ruined my life.
Columbus has stated that the cast were chosen specifically with sequels in mind. " I think with Percy Jackson it was a matter of finding the right cast to fit into these roles, sort of the perfect cast for these roles, because hopefully, God willing, we will go on to do other Percy Jackson films and you want the cast to grow with their characters."
Reviews for the film have been mixed, as indicated by a weighted average score of 48 out of 100 from Metacritic.The film currently holds a 47% 'Rotten' rating on Rotten Tomatoes, based on 78 reviews; the site's general consensus being that although the film "may seem like just another Harry Potter knockoff, the film benefits from a strong supporting cast, a speedy plot, and plenty of fun with Greek mythology". Kenneth Turan of Los Angeles Times described the film as "standard Hollywood product... unadventurous and uninteresting." The Washington Post reviewer thought "the movie suffers by taking itself a little too seriously. It's not just that it's a lot less funny than the book. It's also a lot less fun."
If Columbus were to touch another decent book, I swear upon The River Styx, I will pulverise him. He just ruined my life.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Happy Saint Valentine's Day!!!!!
People, on 14 February, we’re celebrating love and affection between intimate companions. As everyone should remember, this holiday is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius I in 495 A.D.
You see, Valentine of Rome was a priest from Rome who was martyred on AD 269 and was buried on the Via Flaminia. You can check out his awesome relics at the Church of Saint Praxed in Rome, and at Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland.
Valentine of Terni (another fellow) became bishop of Interamna (modern Terni you see) about AD 197 and is said to have been martyred during the persecution under Emperor Aurelian. He is also buried on the Via Flaminia, but in a different location than Valentine of Rome. His relics are at the Basilica of Saint Valentine in Terni (Basilica di San Valentino)
The Catholic Encyclopedia also speaks of a third saint named Valentine who was mentioned in early martyrologies (I know, there is such thing…) under date of February 14 (visit my mini-library for this). He was martyred in Africa with a number of companions, but nothing more is known about him. (Not enough Valentines, is it?)
No romantic elements, materials, chemicals and other related stuffs are present in the original early medieval biographies of either of these martyrs. By the time a Saint Valentine became linked to romance in the fourteenth century, distinctions between Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni were utterly lost. Maybe the other Valentines never have seen roses before…
So, according to the 1969 revision of the Roman Catholic Calendar of Saints, the feast day of Saint Valentine on February 14 was removed from the General Roman Calendar and relegated to particular (local or even national) calendars for the following reason:
"Though the memorial of Saint Valentine is ancient, it is left to particular calendars, since, apart from his name, nothing is known of Saint Valentine except that he was buried on the Via Flaminia on February 14."
Ya, so, the valentine dude's not important because you guys are busy watching lions eating people. So, the Maltase from Balzan celebrate the dude’s feast day, and people say the relics of the saint are can be found there, and also throughout the world by Traditionalist Catholics (Caveman Catholics) who follow the older, pre-Vatican II calendar (this was during the big, big shift).
According to The Early Medieval acta version, St Valentine was persecuted as a Christian and interrogated by Roman Emperor Claudius II in person. Emperor Claudius was like totally impressed by Valentine and had a discussion with him, attempting to get him to convert to Roman paganism in order to save his butt. Valentine was like “No way man!!Why not convert to Christianity, its wicked awesome dude!” Because of this, he was executed. Before they chop him up and serve him in Roman stew, he performed a miracle, which was healing his jailer’s blind daughter, just like Christ, but Christ did it in style though…..
Legenda Aurea still provides no links or connections to whatsoever with sentimental love, smoochies, chocolates and hugs, which have been digested biologically in our time to portray Saint Valentine as a priest who said NO WAY to an unattested law attributed to Roman Emperor Claudius II, allegedly ordering that young men REMAIN SINGLE. The Emperor whacked this just to grow his army, believing that married men are the worst soldiers, EVA. The priest Valentine, however, secretly performed marriage ceremonies for young men. When Claudius found out about this, he had Valentine arrested and thrown in jail. So, according to History.com, there’s this embellishment to The Golden Legend provided by American Greetings, Inc., on the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he wrote the first "valentine" himself, addressed to a young girl variously identified as his beloved, as the jailer's daughter whom he had befriended and healed, or both. It was a note that read "From your Valentine.”
Guess Valentine could end up as an ophthalmologist…healing the blind, and of course, we won’t get chocolates, cards and roses…but a pair of glasses or contact lenses on every 14th February…
You see, Valentine of Rome was a priest from Rome who was martyred on AD 269 and was buried on the Via Flaminia. You can check out his awesome relics at the Church of Saint Praxed in Rome, and at Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland.
Valentine of Terni (another fellow) became bishop of Interamna (modern Terni you see) about AD 197 and is said to have been martyred during the persecution under Emperor Aurelian. He is also buried on the Via Flaminia, but in a different location than Valentine of Rome. His relics are at the Basilica of Saint Valentine in Terni (Basilica di San Valentino)
The Catholic Encyclopedia also speaks of a third saint named Valentine who was mentioned in early martyrologies (I know, there is such thing…) under date of February 14 (visit my mini-library for this). He was martyred in Africa with a number of companions, but nothing more is known about him. (Not enough Valentines, is it?)
No romantic elements, materials, chemicals and other related stuffs are present in the original early medieval biographies of either of these martyrs. By the time a Saint Valentine became linked to romance in the fourteenth century, distinctions between Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni were utterly lost. Maybe the other Valentines never have seen roses before…
So, according to the 1969 revision of the Roman Catholic Calendar of Saints, the feast day of Saint Valentine on February 14 was removed from the General Roman Calendar and relegated to particular (local or even national) calendars for the following reason:
"Though the memorial of Saint Valentine is ancient, it is left to particular calendars, since, apart from his name, nothing is known of Saint Valentine except that he was buried on the Via Flaminia on February 14."
Ya, so, the valentine dude's not important because you guys are busy watching lions eating people. So, the Maltase from Balzan celebrate the dude’s feast day, and people say the relics of the saint are can be found there, and also throughout the world by Traditionalist Catholics (Caveman Catholics) who follow the older, pre-Vatican II calendar (this was during the big, big shift).
According to The Early Medieval acta version, St Valentine was persecuted as a Christian and interrogated by Roman Emperor Claudius II in person. Emperor Claudius was like totally impressed by Valentine and had a discussion with him, attempting to get him to convert to Roman paganism in order to save his butt. Valentine was like “No way man!!Why not convert to Christianity, its wicked awesome dude!” Because of this, he was executed. Before they chop him up and serve him in Roman stew, he performed a miracle, which was healing his jailer’s blind daughter, just like Christ, but Christ did it in style though…..
Legenda Aurea still provides no links or connections to whatsoever with sentimental love, smoochies, chocolates and hugs, which have been digested biologically in our time to portray Saint Valentine as a priest who said NO WAY to an unattested law attributed to Roman Emperor Claudius II, allegedly ordering that young men REMAIN SINGLE. The Emperor whacked this just to grow his army, believing that married men are the worst soldiers, EVA. The priest Valentine, however, secretly performed marriage ceremonies for young men. When Claudius found out about this, he had Valentine arrested and thrown in jail. So, according to History.com, there’s this embellishment to The Golden Legend provided by American Greetings, Inc., on the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he wrote the first "valentine" himself, addressed to a young girl variously identified as his beloved, as the jailer's daughter whom he had befriended and healed, or both. It was a note that read "From your Valentine.”
Guess Valentine could end up as an ophthalmologist…healing the blind, and of course, we won’t get chocolates, cards and roses…but a pair of glasses or contact lenses on every 14th February…
So he was buried on February 14th,
and that he wrote his last letter to his friend,
executed by the Romans,
the guilt of receiving roses...
Lawls, Happy Valentine's!
and that he wrote his last letter to his friend,
executed by the Romans,
the guilt of receiving roses...
Lawls, Happy Valentine's!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Mosquitoes
Once upon a time, there lived a young teenage girl. Now the girl had a wonderful family before, though she had no brothers or sisters. Then, her mother died of an unknown disease. And so one day, her father decided to marry a rich divorced lady from a nearby town. He thinks that his teenage daughter needed the care and attention of a mother. As the years go by, her father died of a tragic accident, leaving her biologically orphan. This event, however, has made her stepmother to show her real colour. The poor girl then was put to hard work around the house, doing chores till midnight and had no rest. The big house she once lived in, with all freedom was now her cage. She was given an old, dusty room with a small window for little light and breeze, but for all, she had nothing. Her room, which she had once, was given to her stepbrother, the one person who actually enjoys the misery of her life. He would bare false witness against her, making a horrible event which occurred to be her fault, when it was his.
Now, the biggest problem the village they lived in was mosquitoes. There are so many of the little creature that all people were to sleep with mosquito bed nets. The family had the finest bed nets in the land, but the girl had the opposite. Hers was filled with holes, huge holes that seemed to be an invitation to all mosquitoes in the land for a great feast. And every night, she can go to sleep with no peace, for the mosquitoes kept on feasting on her blood. For one tired and exhausting night, irritated by the mosquitoes, she started to kill them. She slapped as hard as she could, and many mosquitoes died.
Upon seeing this, the Commander of the Mosquito Army sent an entire fleet to her bedroom. Now, all could the girl do was watch as a giant army of mosquitoes entered her little, gloomy room, carrying her in her already torn blanket, with all their might. Mind you that the number of mosquitoes carrying the girl was unbelievable. And so, out from the window and away into the night, the mosquitoes carried the girl. The girl was so frightened, she barely made a noise as they carried her away to a faraway swamp. Once they reached their nest, the girl was brought to their queen. Their queen appears to be the biggest mosquito you have ever seen, yet she did not looked much evil and hungry, but calm and patient. The girl then, realizing that it was their queen, gave her a bow, without muttering a word.
“My child, I heard from my sources that you have killed many of my mosquitoes. Tell me, what is your intention to decrease the size of my army?”
“Your highness, pardon me, oh please! It has been a terrible day. I was forced to wax the floor of the entire mansion belonging to my father, by my very own stepmother. I have not rested for many days. When the opportunity of a good night sleep came, I was disturbed by an army of mosquitoes. With my humanoid instincts, I killed them”
“Your stepmother would do such a thing to you? Oh, you poor misfortunate girl, I feel for you. Since you have no bad intentions over killing my men, I shall free you. Instead, I will grant you a give. But first, you must obtain for me a watermelon; can you do that for me, my child?”
“Yes, your majesty, I will try my best to get you a watermelon.”
And so the next day, the girl re-visited the swamp with a huge watermelon, after sneaking out from her home. The watermelon was the handed to the queen as she requested. The queen then muttered some magical spells and made the watermelon glow, which made the girl amazed and awed.
The watermelon was then given to girl. “Now my child, go home to your room, with a big knife in your hand. Cut the watermelon into two, right at its center. As you make the first cut, whatever you muttered first, will come true. But do this with all your windows and doors opened”.
And so that was what the girl did. Then, the room was suddenly filled with many extraordinary gifts of jewelry, gold shillings and beautiful outfits decorating the entire room, from the top of the ceiling to the bottom of the floor. Now, her stepbrother who was watching from behind saw the entire event and wanted to have the same gift as his stepsister’s. And so he came into the room, and confronted her. She told him the entire adventure she had, being all innocent and honest. And so at that night, as to prepare for bed, he started tearing his bed nets, dressed in rags like his sister and fell asleep. At that night, an army of mosquitoes attacked him. In accordance to his sister’s event, he killed many, and was brought to see the queen. He told the same story as his sister did, and got sympathy from the queen. He also obtained the same task and gift, and ran off back to home in the morning. So ran upstairs he did into his room. The girl then approached her brother, wanting to share his delight, but his greed was overwhelming. He told her to get out of the room, and shut all windows and doors so that no one can see. In the room, all alone, he sat there, a knife in his right hand, and a watermelon in front of him. As he made his first cut, with his greedy wish waiting to escape his tongue, his very own mother gave a knock on his door, which caught him by alarm and startled him. To this, with the first cut of the magical watermelon, he muttered
“Crap!”
Now, the biggest problem the village they lived in was mosquitoes. There are so many of the little creature that all people were to sleep with mosquito bed nets. The family had the finest bed nets in the land, but the girl had the opposite. Hers was filled with holes, huge holes that seemed to be an invitation to all mosquitoes in the land for a great feast. And every night, she can go to sleep with no peace, for the mosquitoes kept on feasting on her blood. For one tired and exhausting night, irritated by the mosquitoes, she started to kill them. She slapped as hard as she could, and many mosquitoes died.
Upon seeing this, the Commander of the Mosquito Army sent an entire fleet to her bedroom. Now, all could the girl do was watch as a giant army of mosquitoes entered her little, gloomy room, carrying her in her already torn blanket, with all their might. Mind you that the number of mosquitoes carrying the girl was unbelievable. And so, out from the window and away into the night, the mosquitoes carried the girl. The girl was so frightened, she barely made a noise as they carried her away to a faraway swamp. Once they reached their nest, the girl was brought to their queen. Their queen appears to be the biggest mosquito you have ever seen, yet she did not looked much evil and hungry, but calm and patient. The girl then, realizing that it was their queen, gave her a bow, without muttering a word.
“My child, I heard from my sources that you have killed many of my mosquitoes. Tell me, what is your intention to decrease the size of my army?”
“Your highness, pardon me, oh please! It has been a terrible day. I was forced to wax the floor of the entire mansion belonging to my father, by my very own stepmother. I have not rested for many days. When the opportunity of a good night sleep came, I was disturbed by an army of mosquitoes. With my humanoid instincts, I killed them”
“Your stepmother would do such a thing to you? Oh, you poor misfortunate girl, I feel for you. Since you have no bad intentions over killing my men, I shall free you. Instead, I will grant you a give. But first, you must obtain for me a watermelon; can you do that for me, my child?”
“Yes, your majesty, I will try my best to get you a watermelon.”
And so the next day, the girl re-visited the swamp with a huge watermelon, after sneaking out from her home. The watermelon was the handed to the queen as she requested. The queen then muttered some magical spells and made the watermelon glow, which made the girl amazed and awed.
The watermelon was then given to girl. “Now my child, go home to your room, with a big knife in your hand. Cut the watermelon into two, right at its center. As you make the first cut, whatever you muttered first, will come true. But do this with all your windows and doors opened”.
And so that was what the girl did. Then, the room was suddenly filled with many extraordinary gifts of jewelry, gold shillings and beautiful outfits decorating the entire room, from the top of the ceiling to the bottom of the floor. Now, her stepbrother who was watching from behind saw the entire event and wanted to have the same gift as his stepsister’s. And so he came into the room, and confronted her. She told him the entire adventure she had, being all innocent and honest. And so at that night, as to prepare for bed, he started tearing his bed nets, dressed in rags like his sister and fell asleep. At that night, an army of mosquitoes attacked him. In accordance to his sister’s event, he killed many, and was brought to see the queen. He told the same story as his sister did, and got sympathy from the queen. He also obtained the same task and gift, and ran off back to home in the morning. So ran upstairs he did into his room. The girl then approached her brother, wanting to share his delight, but his greed was overwhelming. He told her to get out of the room, and shut all windows and doors so that no one can see. In the room, all alone, he sat there, a knife in his right hand, and a watermelon in front of him. As he made his first cut, with his greedy wish waiting to escape his tongue, his very own mother gave a knock on his door, which caught him by alarm and startled him. To this, with the first cut of the magical watermelon, he muttered
“Crap!”
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Hash brown
As usual, everyday, a sheep was to be dragged to a cold, dark cave up in the mountains of Hash brown. There, the sheep will be tied to a poll made ready at the mouth of the cave. Then, all men who dragged the sheep up the mountain will run for their lives as they hear his breath. It seemed forever the village of Hash brown lived in fear of a fearsome dragon. Its scales are as hard as celestial bronze, armoring his entire body. His breath of fire destroys corps of people, who are then left to starve. The King has lost many of his noblest knights in order to kill the mighty dragon.
One afternoon, as all villagers fear once, the dragon paid a visit.
"I am tired of feasting upon sheep which none other tastes like sticks and stone!"
"But we feed you with the finest sheep we've ever had. With the burning of out crops, our people themselves have not much to eat, never mention of the sheep!" said the King.
"Have I not warned you that if I am not fed well, then your village will I destroy?!" said the dragon. "If your majesty were to ensure the survival of His kingdom, then once of every month, you shall send me a fair maiden from the village for me to feast on".
"I cannot do that! I have...”
"SILENCE!! I think my orders are precise and well understood! I shall be expecting my dine four days from now". And the dragon flew away to his cave, till he's out of sight. The King, with a million stones of burden in his heart, has no choice but to obey, and ever so every month since the event, a maiden was sacrificed.
Then it was heard a stranger from the North, who's a dragon slayer and expert of hand, was called upon Hash brown. The doors of the castle then opened as the stranger enters. He was not what the King expected him to be. He appears to not look like a dragon slayer, but an old crooked man who walked crookedly, with nothing on him but a leather bag which could not bear any type of weapon.
"Old man, as I have heard you slay dragons, chases them away, tame them! Are you not the man of whom I've spoken?" asked the King,
"Yes, I am. Your dragon cannot be slayed my King. To kill it, there’s a way, but you must find the answer in the name of your village."
"I don't understand you, old man! Are you saying, to kill the dragon will take no brave knights and weapons, but merely by the name of the village? The dragon has spoken the village's name a thousand times. I have you know that there are many of the village's maidens been sacrificed for the sake of the kingdom!"
But it is in a blink of an eye that the old man disappears from sight, and the king was left in despair. Then, a subject of the castle gathered his courage, for he is the man of medicine in the castle, as wise as he is, said.
"Your majesty, if I were to translate the message of the old man, I would say that we should feed the dragon...our 'village' "
"Have you gone mad?! Have the sorcery of the old man taken your wisdom? How could you possibly say that I have to feed the entire kingdom to the dragon? If I were to do so, am I not speeding up the dragon's wish?"
"By means Your Majesty, not the people of the kingdom, but the name of it, Hash brown. To my knowledge, the word ‘Hashbrown’ is a type of potato snack, flattens and fried, and happens to be a favourite snack of a distance land. But the potato, as to all, when fried will drain a whole lot of oil from the pan. To my medical knowledge, a wholesome diet of oily feast will eventually create a plague of the arteries of the heart, which results to heart failure and death"
"Have my ancestors gone mad...naming the kingdom after a far away land snack? Death you say? Then summoned all my subjects to grow potatoes, and it will all be fried when the dragon is away, and to be shaped into a maiden, and to be fed to the dragon every day, till his death visits him, and we shall finally have peace"
And so the people of Hash brown planted potatoes, and did what the king have ordered them. And at every feast the dragon, whose eyes like all other reptilians, aren't clear, was tricked by the delicious-ness of the maiden shaped hash browns. And through the months he got too fat to fly, but still addicted to the hash browns. On one feast, he dropped a hash brown which has its head and left leg eaten. He shivered and fitted. As the people watch to their delight, the dragon dropped to his death and died.
As they celebrate that night, the old sorcerer came back, and asked to be rewarded. The King refuses to do so, as he claimed the old man vanished without a clear explanation, and could have lead to more destruction, with an addition that there was no reward in their agreement. The old man then cast a spell to all humanity, with power so might driven by his anger, that all people were to be addicted to their weapon as the dragon, and die as the dragon. And the curse lingers to this very day, with thousands of heart failure cases across the world, due to food of high fat content. Eat well.
One afternoon, as all villagers fear once, the dragon paid a visit.
"I am tired of feasting upon sheep which none other tastes like sticks and stone!"
"But we feed you with the finest sheep we've ever had. With the burning of out crops, our people themselves have not much to eat, never mention of the sheep!" said the King.
"Have I not warned you that if I am not fed well, then your village will I destroy?!" said the dragon. "If your majesty were to ensure the survival of His kingdom, then once of every month, you shall send me a fair maiden from the village for me to feast on".
"I cannot do that! I have...”
"SILENCE!! I think my orders are precise and well understood! I shall be expecting my dine four days from now". And the dragon flew away to his cave, till he's out of sight. The King, with a million stones of burden in his heart, has no choice but to obey, and ever so every month since the event, a maiden was sacrificed.
Then it was heard a stranger from the North, who's a dragon slayer and expert of hand, was called upon Hash brown. The doors of the castle then opened as the stranger enters. He was not what the King expected him to be. He appears to not look like a dragon slayer, but an old crooked man who walked crookedly, with nothing on him but a leather bag which could not bear any type of weapon.
"Old man, as I have heard you slay dragons, chases them away, tame them! Are you not the man of whom I've spoken?" asked the King,
"Yes, I am. Your dragon cannot be slayed my King. To kill it, there’s a way, but you must find the answer in the name of your village."
"I don't understand you, old man! Are you saying, to kill the dragon will take no brave knights and weapons, but merely by the name of the village? The dragon has spoken the village's name a thousand times. I have you know that there are many of the village's maidens been sacrificed for the sake of the kingdom!"
But it is in a blink of an eye that the old man disappears from sight, and the king was left in despair. Then, a subject of the castle gathered his courage, for he is the man of medicine in the castle, as wise as he is, said.
"Your majesty, if I were to translate the message of the old man, I would say that we should feed the dragon...our 'village' "
"Have you gone mad?! Have the sorcery of the old man taken your wisdom? How could you possibly say that I have to feed the entire kingdom to the dragon? If I were to do so, am I not speeding up the dragon's wish?"
"By means Your Majesty, not the people of the kingdom, but the name of it, Hash brown. To my knowledge, the word ‘Hashbrown’ is a type of potato snack, flattens and fried, and happens to be a favourite snack of a distance land. But the potato, as to all, when fried will drain a whole lot of oil from the pan. To my medical knowledge, a wholesome diet of oily feast will eventually create a plague of the arteries of the heart, which results to heart failure and death"
"Have my ancestors gone mad...naming the kingdom after a far away land snack? Death you say? Then summoned all my subjects to grow potatoes, and it will all be fried when the dragon is away, and to be shaped into a maiden, and to be fed to the dragon every day, till his death visits him, and we shall finally have peace"
And so the people of Hash brown planted potatoes, and did what the king have ordered them. And at every feast the dragon, whose eyes like all other reptilians, aren't clear, was tricked by the delicious-ness of the maiden shaped hash browns. And through the months he got too fat to fly, but still addicted to the hash browns. On one feast, he dropped a hash brown which has its head and left leg eaten. He shivered and fitted. As the people watch to their delight, the dragon dropped to his death and died.
As they celebrate that night, the old sorcerer came back, and asked to be rewarded. The King refuses to do so, as he claimed the old man vanished without a clear explanation, and could have lead to more destruction, with an addition that there was no reward in their agreement. The old man then cast a spell to all humanity, with power so might driven by his anger, that all people were to be addicted to their weapon as the dragon, and die as the dragon. And the curse lingers to this very day, with thousands of heart failure cases across the world, due to food of high fat content. Eat well.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief movie....
You should have been there to see my expression when I finished the book. You should have seen the expression on my face when I have complited the 4th book last year. You should have been there to see the look on my face when Chris Columbus decide to make a movie out of one of my favourite books by my favourite author...You're not even close when I found out my dad's Zeus!! (oh, and the Oracle told me I'll die..soon)
And boy, you should have seen how i reacted when I found out who were the casts....
NOT SURPRISED
Percy Jackson...though he looks older than the real Percy Jackson. But they do ace at one part...his hair. Anyway, there was this scene, he was in a pool, and Grover was counting out how long Percy lasted underwater...well...Percy could never get wet...seriouly...hollywood, do your homework!!
Yes people, meet Luke. Yes, Luke does look like this, but with a scar across his face.I knew i could never doubt my suspicions when i was first introduced to Luke. I totally love Luke, and became the saddest person in the world when he decided to follow Kronos.I just cannot accept his fate in the end, and I felt sorry for what happened to his mom.Hollywood scored a point though.
Meet the Lord of the Underworld, Hades (woops, I better be careful with names...I might cause a storm, online!!) Thumbs up for choosing Steve Coogan as Hades. Very much matched the real one too..well, once you see him in his black robe...chill Hades, Hell was pretty good...
Meet Medusa..wait!! Don't look at her head!! You don't want to end up being a member of her garden deco. Anyway, Uma was born to do this.
Meet Chiron. Please don't call him a pony. Tyson did it once, in The Sea of Monsters. A good choice choosing Pierce. Hollywood did their homework after all....a portion of it...
Sean as Zeus. Good choice...great...after taking that stupid "Who's you daddy" thingy,now I knew how my dad looks like...Imagine this guy with lightning bolts. Great image for a man with bad temper...
Add the beard and flaming eyeballs, with a Harley on Ray's side and you get Ares...
Meet the biggest time stopping, egg craking shock of my life!! Luke as MR.D!! The God who dresses funny, has drinking problems and serving punishment, just plain mean, with his grape veins and all ,and the most annoying part is that he kept calling Percy 'Peter Johnson'...till the very end!!!,...oh my Gods!!! Hollywood, BOOOO!!!!!
This particular satyr is not black in the first place.Get your facts right. I can't imagine seeing this face, craving for soda cans!!!Brandon looks so brave and....cool!! Brandon is definitely not Grover. Hollywood lost a point.
And to my biggest disappointment, this guy DOES NOT look like my uncle,Poseidon...doesn't even look like Logan!! I prefered that seaweed surfer dude with bad highlights that kept bugging everyone when they consult The Oracle....I hate Hollywood sometimes...
And boy, you should have seen how i reacted when I found out who were the casts....
NOT SURPRISED
Percy Jackson...though he looks older than the real Percy Jackson. But they do ace at one part...his hair. Anyway, there was this scene, he was in a pool, and Grover was counting out how long Percy lasted underwater...well...Percy could never get wet...seriouly...hollywood, do your homework!!
Yes people, meet Luke. Yes, Luke does look like this, but with a scar across his face.I knew i could never doubt my suspicions when i was first introduced to Luke. I totally love Luke, and became the saddest person in the world when he decided to follow Kronos.I just cannot accept his fate in the end, and I felt sorry for what happened to his mom.Hollywood scored a point though.
Meet the Lord of the Underworld, Hades (woops, I better be careful with names...I might cause a storm, online!!) Thumbs up for choosing Steve Coogan as Hades. Very much matched the real one too..well, once you see him in his black robe...chill Hades, Hell was pretty good...
Meet Medusa..wait!! Don't look at her head!! You don't want to end up being a member of her garden deco. Anyway, Uma was born to do this.
Meet Chiron. Please don't call him a pony. Tyson did it once, in The Sea of Monsters. A good choice choosing Pierce. Hollywood did their homework after all....a portion of it...
Sean as Zeus. Good choice...great...after taking that stupid "Who's you daddy" thingy,now I knew how my dad looks like...Imagine this guy with lightning bolts. Great image for a man with bad temper...
Add the beard and flaming eyeballs, with a Harley on Ray's side and you get Ares...SHOCKED
Meet the biggest time stopping, egg craking shock of my life!! Luke as MR.D!! The God who dresses funny, has drinking problems and serving punishment, just plain mean, with his grape veins and all ,and the most annoying part is that he kept calling Percy 'Peter Johnson'...till the very end!!!,...oh my Gods!!! Hollywood, BOOOO!!!!!
This particular satyr is not black in the first place.Get your facts right. I can't imagine seeing this face, craving for soda cans!!!Brandon looks so brave and....cool!! Brandon is definitely not Grover. Hollywood lost a point. This is just gross. Alex as Annabeth?! First of all, Annabeth's blonde.
Secondly, she's 12, not...old. But, since I hate Annabeth, all the way, I don't care much.
Secondly, she's 12, not...old. But, since I hate Annabeth, all the way, I don't care much. 
And to my biggest disappointment, this guy DOES NOT look like my uncle,Poseidon...doesn't even look like Logan!! I prefered that seaweed surfer dude with bad highlights that kept bugging everyone when they consult The Oracle....I hate Hollywood sometimes...Additional fact, I could not find who's playing the role of Clarisse, Daugther of Ares, God of War. She plays an important role, and if she's missing in the movie, you guys are just wasting money and time.Man, I'm an unhappy fan!! I felt like throwing the entire nation into the depths of Tartarus... Where is Andrew Adamson when you need him? Hollywood, never pulverise the hearts of all fans and demigods...or we'll send some monsters....
Thursday, January 14, 2010
PUSINGAN !
Post ini mengisahkan keakraban hubungan Ah Chong dengan seekor angsa bernama Pusingan.
Pada suatu hari, Ah Chong (versi pelajar sekolah rendah) sedang berjalan kaki pulang dari sekolah. Hari itu merupakan hari yang paling panas di kampung tersebut. Kesian Ah Chong, terbengah-bengah dia sepanjang jalan itu, menahan panas terik dan suasana yang bahang itu. Dalam kepala otaknya, teringat pula makan tengah hari yang disediakan oleh ibunya. "Apa yang dimasak oleh ibu hari ini?Nasi ayam? Kalau nasib aku baik, mesti ada teh'O ais".
Pada masa yang sama, terdengarlah Ah Chong akan suatu bunyi. "Bunyinya seperti seekor angsa", katanya dalam hati. Bunyi tersebut datang dari arah sebuah benteng kecil berdekatan sawah padi. Tanpa membazirkan masa, Ah Chong bergerak ke arah bunyi tersebut. Alangkah terkejutnya Ah Chong apabila terjumpa dengan seekor anak angsa yang kecil.
"Kesian anak angsa ini, dimana ibunya? Baik aku bawanya pulang sebelum dibaham haiwan lain".
"Ah Chong!! Kamukah tuh? Ah Chong, kenapa balik lewat hari ini? Ada hal di sekolah?" tanya ibunya.
Ah Chong tidak mempunyai banyak kawan di sekolah, jadi tidak biasalah dia meluangkan banyak masa di kawasan sekolah.
"Tidak mak, Ah Chong terjumpa anak angsa ini dalam longkang. Ibunya tidak tahu dimana. Oleh sebab Ah Chong kesian akan anak angsa ini, Ah Chong bawanya pulang, mungkin boleh berinya makan minum".
Anak angsa itu sangat comel. Dengan serta merta, Ah Chong terus sayang akan anak angsa itu. Oleh kesayanganya yang sangat mendalam, Ibu Ah Chong membenarkan Ah Chong pelihara anak angsa itu. Pada suatu malam, sebelum Ah Chong masuk tidur, Ah Chong menjenguk ke dalam kotak yang disimpannya anak angsa itu untuk mengucap selamat malam.Lepas itu, diciumnya anak angsa itu. Tiba-tiba, kepala anak angsa itu berpusing 365 darjah. Ah Chong bisu terkejut.
"Boleh buat lagi?" tanya Ah Chong. Berpusing lagi kepala anak angsa itu 365 darjah. Ah Chong begitu kagum dengan kebolehan anak angsa itu, begitu juga dengan ibubapa Ah Chong. Oleh itu, anak angsa itu dinamakan 'Pusingan'.
Sehingga besar anak angsa itu Ah Chong peliharakan. Setiap hari masanya diluangkan dengan Pusingan. Ah Chong tidak mahu berkawan dengan budak-budak yang lain. Antara Ah Chong dengan Pusingan terdapat pertautan yang aneh. Jika Pusingan sakit, Ah Chong juga akan sakit. Ini menimbulkan rasa bimbang dalam ibubapa Ah Chong terhadap anak mereka yang leka melayan anak angsa itu buat bertahun-tahun. Apabila Pusingan tidak mahu makan makanan yang disediakan, Ah Chong akan memarahi Pusingan. Kemudian, Pusingan akan bermanja dengan Ah Chong. Menurut bomoh di kampung itu, Ah Chong dan Pusingan merupakan anak kembar tetapi tidak dipercayai oleh ibubapanya. Mereka hantar Ah Chong ke sekolah yang jauh dengan harapan Ah Chong dan Pusingan akan berenggang. Namun, harapan itu tidak menjadi kenyataan. Perhubungan mereka tetap akrab dan mesra.
Menjelang Hari Tahun Baru Cina, ibubapa Ah Chong telah menyimpan Pusingan di dalam dapur belakang rumah mereka. Ketika itu, Ah Chong berada di sekolah. Apabila Ah Chong pulang, dia terus menyedari kehilangan Pusingan dan segera mencari Pusingan sambil menangis. " Ibu, Ibu nampak tak Pusingan?"
"Tak, rasanya Pusingan sedang merayau di kawasan sawah. Pergilah carinya di sana".
Ah Chong lari sekuat hati menuju ke kawasan sawah. Sehingga petang dicarinya Pusingan, namun tidak dijumpai. Hari semakin gelap. Dengan hati yang penuh gelisah, Ah Chong terpaksa pulang ke rumah. Apabila sampai di muka pintu depan rumahnya, Ah Chong terbau akan masakan ibunya untuk makan malam Tahun Baru Cina. Ah Chong terus masuk dan duduk di meja makan. Ibunya sedang berkemas di ruang dapur. Ayahnya sedang melipat surat khabar yang baru dibaca dan menuju ke meja makan.
"Ayah, Ayah ternampak Pusingan? Sudah sehari saya tidak berjumpa dengannya"
"Kau cari Pusingan sepanjang hari ini?"
"Ya Ayah, masih tidak dapat dijumpanya"
"Errm...tak tahulah Ah Chong...ummm...sudah, jangan risau banyak-banyak...nah, makanlah angsa ni yang dipanggang oleh ibu kamu...."
Pada suatu hari, Ah Chong (versi pelajar sekolah rendah) sedang berjalan kaki pulang dari sekolah. Hari itu merupakan hari yang paling panas di kampung tersebut. Kesian Ah Chong, terbengah-bengah dia sepanjang jalan itu, menahan panas terik dan suasana yang bahang itu. Dalam kepala otaknya, teringat pula makan tengah hari yang disediakan oleh ibunya. "Apa yang dimasak oleh ibu hari ini?Nasi ayam? Kalau nasib aku baik, mesti ada teh'O ais".
Pada masa yang sama, terdengarlah Ah Chong akan suatu bunyi. "Bunyinya seperti seekor angsa", katanya dalam hati. Bunyi tersebut datang dari arah sebuah benteng kecil berdekatan sawah padi. Tanpa membazirkan masa, Ah Chong bergerak ke arah bunyi tersebut. Alangkah terkejutnya Ah Chong apabila terjumpa dengan seekor anak angsa yang kecil.
"Kesian anak angsa ini, dimana ibunya? Baik aku bawanya pulang sebelum dibaham haiwan lain".
"Ah Chong!! Kamukah tuh? Ah Chong, kenapa balik lewat hari ini? Ada hal di sekolah?" tanya ibunya.
Ah Chong tidak mempunyai banyak kawan di sekolah, jadi tidak biasalah dia meluangkan banyak masa di kawasan sekolah.
"Tidak mak, Ah Chong terjumpa anak angsa ini dalam longkang. Ibunya tidak tahu dimana. Oleh sebab Ah Chong kesian akan anak angsa ini, Ah Chong bawanya pulang, mungkin boleh berinya makan minum".
Anak angsa itu sangat comel. Dengan serta merta, Ah Chong terus sayang akan anak angsa itu. Oleh kesayanganya yang sangat mendalam, Ibu Ah Chong membenarkan Ah Chong pelihara anak angsa itu. Pada suatu malam, sebelum Ah Chong masuk tidur, Ah Chong menjenguk ke dalam kotak yang disimpannya anak angsa itu untuk mengucap selamat malam.Lepas itu, diciumnya anak angsa itu. Tiba-tiba, kepala anak angsa itu berpusing 365 darjah. Ah Chong bisu terkejut.
"Boleh buat lagi?" tanya Ah Chong. Berpusing lagi kepala anak angsa itu 365 darjah. Ah Chong begitu kagum dengan kebolehan anak angsa itu, begitu juga dengan ibubapa Ah Chong. Oleh itu, anak angsa itu dinamakan 'Pusingan'.
Sehingga besar anak angsa itu Ah Chong peliharakan. Setiap hari masanya diluangkan dengan Pusingan. Ah Chong tidak mahu berkawan dengan budak-budak yang lain. Antara Ah Chong dengan Pusingan terdapat pertautan yang aneh. Jika Pusingan sakit, Ah Chong juga akan sakit. Ini menimbulkan rasa bimbang dalam ibubapa Ah Chong terhadap anak mereka yang leka melayan anak angsa itu buat bertahun-tahun. Apabila Pusingan tidak mahu makan makanan yang disediakan, Ah Chong akan memarahi Pusingan. Kemudian, Pusingan akan bermanja dengan Ah Chong. Menurut bomoh di kampung itu, Ah Chong dan Pusingan merupakan anak kembar tetapi tidak dipercayai oleh ibubapanya. Mereka hantar Ah Chong ke sekolah yang jauh dengan harapan Ah Chong dan Pusingan akan berenggang. Namun, harapan itu tidak menjadi kenyataan. Perhubungan mereka tetap akrab dan mesra.
Menjelang Hari Tahun Baru Cina, ibubapa Ah Chong telah menyimpan Pusingan di dalam dapur belakang rumah mereka. Ketika itu, Ah Chong berada di sekolah. Apabila Ah Chong pulang, dia terus menyedari kehilangan Pusingan dan segera mencari Pusingan sambil menangis. " Ibu, Ibu nampak tak Pusingan?"
"Tak, rasanya Pusingan sedang merayau di kawasan sawah. Pergilah carinya di sana".
Ah Chong lari sekuat hati menuju ke kawasan sawah. Sehingga petang dicarinya Pusingan, namun tidak dijumpai. Hari semakin gelap. Dengan hati yang penuh gelisah, Ah Chong terpaksa pulang ke rumah. Apabila sampai di muka pintu depan rumahnya, Ah Chong terbau akan masakan ibunya untuk makan malam Tahun Baru Cina. Ah Chong terus masuk dan duduk di meja makan. Ibunya sedang berkemas di ruang dapur. Ayahnya sedang melipat surat khabar yang baru dibaca dan menuju ke meja makan.
"Ayah, Ayah ternampak Pusingan? Sudah sehari saya tidak berjumpa dengannya"
"Kau cari Pusingan sepanjang hari ini?"
"Ya Ayah, masih tidak dapat dijumpanya"
"Errm...tak tahulah Ah Chong...ummm...sudah, jangan risau banyak-banyak...nah, makanlah angsa ni yang dipanggang oleh ibu kamu...."
Monday, January 11, 2010
A Long Flight (2)
It was the longest period of time I've ever experience, hearing the alarms go off. The entire cockpit blacked out, and then lighted up with red coloured emergency bulbs .I lost control of her. I was falling. I could not eject myself. I won’t if I could, it would be suicide to the power of three if I do so. She was spinning like a giant eagle shot dead from the sky.
“Mayday!! Mayday!! "
A loud bang accompanied the event. Then, it was black.
I heard the sound of a river. I felt mist flirting with my face. My shoes are wet, I'm aware of that. I woke up. The sun was shining a little too bright. I got myself up, even though my head was spinning like two monkeys falling in love. I was in a shallow river. I turned around. I saw her...all smashed up. I felt like crying, I got this thing for planes you see. But I could not spare more time for mourning over pieces of metal. Besides, I could not waste the Author's time, typing will drive you mad. I tried one step at a time. My left shoulder was badly cut. I tore a portion of my shirt, and tied it around my wound. To survive and meet civilization, to escape this unknown Mediterranean forest, I must follow the stream.
I have never drunk water so fresh and sweet before in my entire life. And drank till I'm full I did. I filled up my bottle, and planned to continue. Then, I heard a twig snapped behind me. I turned fast and to my amazement-ness, a satyr, a young one I say, judging by the size of his horns, standing, staring at me.
"You lost, Sir?"
"You're...you're...you're a goat man?"
"Satyr, Sir, yes, half man, half goat".
"You've got to be kidding me!"
"I did not throw a joke, Sir"
"Look, goat man, I...” "Pip, Sir"
"Pip, whether you're real or not, I'm lost, so if you don’t mind......Pip?"
Pip turned pale. He was staring blankly into the air. The flute in his hands dropped on the forest floor. Then, his jaws started to buff. His eyes turned yellow. He raised his hands up, like little children in kindergarden, lining up, heading for class. He opened his mouth. His saliva drools over his chin. He started to choke out some sort of word, but I could not make it out. His 'symptoms' are extremely familiar. Too familiar. He started to choke a little more. Sooner, he'll spit out that word, that very word, the word which I fear most, spitted out of a mindless,lifeless body.
Hell yes he spitted it out.
"Brraaaiiiinnnsss!!!"
I ran. I ran for my life. The flashback of events from ‘84 raids my mind. '84 was the worst year, but it was the end. We were at war, but the cure was released. Strange, is it back? It must be back! The Satyr got it! Satyrs run fast. They're half goats for Neptune's sake. What's worst than being chased by a Satyr? Being chased by a Zombie-Satyr, screaming out for brains! To my dumb-wits, I was running while looking back. To make things worse, I reached a cliff, a cliff so high, you could barely think you're on the same planet your own mother plopped you out, I fell. As I was falling, I could see the young zombie-satyr looking down at me...still mumbling out "brains". Falling was forever. I screamed my lungs out. Then, the stalagmites came to my sight. Ouch.
"Boom!!"
I woke up. I was at my couch. The sun light beamed across my living room. I turned and saw yesterday's pizza on the table. My door was whacked...knocked. "George!!"
I walked towards the door, feeling dizzier than ever.
"George, it's been a week now! Where's the rent? You pay, now!"
"Mr.Timh, please, another week?"
He gave a pity look, with a slight touch of anger.
"Three days tops, George, three days!"
And he was off. I closed the door behind me.
I turned and saw the sky outside of my window. It was green!! Then, there were sounds of jet engines. It was the haze thingy.They're spraying out seeds. Coincidence-ness? I walked into my bathroom. I took off my shirt. My entire arm suddenly jammed. I look over my left shoulder. A wound stitched up, probably three weeks old. All I could do was to stare at that wound. Then, a sudden thud on my door moves me out of the bathroom. Can't he just get it? He gave me three weeks, tops! What's more to ask? I opened the door.
"Look, Mr. Timh, I told you I.........Pip?"
"Brraaaiinnnss!!"
“Mayday!! Mayday!! "
A loud bang accompanied the event. Then, it was black.
I heard the sound of a river. I felt mist flirting with my face. My shoes are wet, I'm aware of that. I woke up. The sun was shining a little too bright. I got myself up, even though my head was spinning like two monkeys falling in love. I was in a shallow river. I turned around. I saw her...all smashed up. I felt like crying, I got this thing for planes you see. But I could not spare more time for mourning over pieces of metal. Besides, I could not waste the Author's time, typing will drive you mad. I tried one step at a time. My left shoulder was badly cut. I tore a portion of my shirt, and tied it around my wound. To survive and meet civilization, to escape this unknown Mediterranean forest, I must follow the stream.
I have never drunk water so fresh and sweet before in my entire life. And drank till I'm full I did. I filled up my bottle, and planned to continue. Then, I heard a twig snapped behind me. I turned fast and to my amazement-ness, a satyr, a young one I say, judging by the size of his horns, standing, staring at me.
"You lost, Sir?"
"You're...you're...you're a goat man?"
"Satyr, Sir, yes, half man, half goat".
"You've got to be kidding me!"
"I did not throw a joke, Sir"
"Look, goat man, I...” "Pip, Sir"
"Pip, whether you're real or not, I'm lost, so if you don’t mind......Pip?"
Pip turned pale. He was staring blankly into the air. The flute in his hands dropped on the forest floor. Then, his jaws started to buff. His eyes turned yellow. He raised his hands up, like little children in kindergarden, lining up, heading for class. He opened his mouth. His saliva drools over his chin. He started to choke out some sort of word, but I could not make it out. His 'symptoms' are extremely familiar. Too familiar. He started to choke a little more. Sooner, he'll spit out that word, that very word, the word which I fear most, spitted out of a mindless,lifeless body.
Hell yes he spitted it out.
"Brraaaiiiinnnsss!!!"
I ran. I ran for my life. The flashback of events from ‘84 raids my mind. '84 was the worst year, but it was the end. We were at war, but the cure was released. Strange, is it back? It must be back! The Satyr got it! Satyrs run fast. They're half goats for Neptune's sake. What's worst than being chased by a Satyr? Being chased by a Zombie-Satyr, screaming out for brains! To my dumb-wits, I was running while looking back. To make things worse, I reached a cliff, a cliff so high, you could barely think you're on the same planet your own mother plopped you out, I fell. As I was falling, I could see the young zombie-satyr looking down at me...still mumbling out "brains". Falling was forever. I screamed my lungs out. Then, the stalagmites came to my sight. Ouch.
"Boom!!"
I woke up. I was at my couch. The sun light beamed across my living room. I turned and saw yesterday's pizza on the table. My door was whacked...knocked. "George!!"
I walked towards the door, feeling dizzier than ever.
"George, it's been a week now! Where's the rent? You pay, now!"
"Mr.Timh, please, another week?"
He gave a pity look, with a slight touch of anger.
"Three days tops, George, three days!"
And he was off. I closed the door behind me.
I turned and saw the sky outside of my window. It was green!! Then, there were sounds of jet engines. It was the haze thingy.They're spraying out seeds. Coincidence-ness? I walked into my bathroom. I took off my shirt. My entire arm suddenly jammed. I look over my left shoulder. A wound stitched up, probably three weeks old. All I could do was to stare at that wound. Then, a sudden thud on my door moves me out of the bathroom. Can't he just get it? He gave me three weeks, tops! What's more to ask? I opened the door.
"Look, Mr. Timh, I told you I.........Pip?"
"Brraaaiinnnss!!"
A Long Flight
It hasn't rain for 4 weeks. The haze was as horrible as a slice of a 5 year old frozen pizza. The newspapers were filled with headlines like "Haze Baze","Caution of Haze","Asthma Patient Taken by the Haze". Everyone was advised to wear a facial filter mask. Driving became hazardous. Tourism polls plunged to dead bottom, like waterfalls from a distant planet (read some sci-fic stuff). People just stayed indoors. The blueness which once coloured the sky was bleached (no, the haze has not contents of peroxides). Hardly has anybody walked on the pavements of the city. The bird which always chirps at your window at 7:30 a.m disappeared. You started to miss that bird. You regret that you've thrown a ka-jillion curses at him..her..him. The haze silenced all.
Then, the government made a call. They started ordering planes with special gadgets, equipped with a special compartment containing a man-developed chemicals.Chemicals which will be ejaculated by the planes. Chemicals engineered by scientist. Chemicals which are certified for using, even though we don't really know their exact chemical composition. This special chemical are to be sprayed into the air. They were considered as seeds of rain. They will make rain and this rain will wash the haze away.
Calling on duty. Hi-hoa. This is your captain speaking. I'm Captain Wright, pilot assigned for every mission and quest carried, in purpose of saving mankind. This flight, was the first flight 2345 under government command. This flight is another adventure. This is my first time flying under government command. Yes, i grabbed it after a huge hesitation. I grabbed it hard for the sake of...well..my rent issues.
I suited up.I had my special shoes and hat on. I walked out. There she was, what a beauty. Then, there were a few people wearing red jump-suits, filling her empty tanks with some greenish liquid, and shut it tight they did.
"She's all yours now, Captain".
She was one fine piece of art, in the cockpit. There were...buttons...everywhere...and a digital navigator right in front of me. I never had a digital navigator on my personal sweetheart back home. I trust my guts, I don't need a digital navigator. Then, I was introduced to a yellow liver with a red button on top of it, by some other guy in a red jump-suit. That specific button will release the icky green goo, which will make rain.
At the field, where we're all lined up, awaiting the commands from the control tower, the feeling of excitement filled me. "I'm gonna fly this baby sweet!"
"Flight 2345 Wright heading west 45..."
"This is flight 2345 Wright awaiting for west 45, over"
"Flight 2345 Wright, take runway, proceed"
"Copy that"
She moved gracefully over the runway. Then, I gave a full throttle.
"Flight 2345 Wright altitude reading stable now...await order of releasement"
"Flight 2345 Wright, copy that, over"
She went smooth into the sky. This girl fly like she owned the sky. I just kept my bearing on west 45. In approximately 36 minutes, I'll receive my next order.
36 minutes flew by, like a duck knowing his luck in the oven. Then, the radio has 'spoken'.
"Flight 2345 Wright, order to release subject matter in 30 seconds"
"Flight 2345 Wright, copy that, await order"
The radar picked the signal up. I held on the yellow liver. My thumb released the cap.The red button was exposed, being totally under control of my thumb.
"Flight 2345 Wright, order to release subject matter in T-minus 10 seconds, 9..,8..,7..,6..,5..,4..,3..,2..1,..engaged"
My thumb responded. The rear of the plane jerked, The co-hatched opened. Then, the air was suddenly green.
The volume of the tank was signaled empty. The co-hatched shut automatically. My job was done. Now, to fly her safely back port through the thick haze.
"Home court,this is flight 2345 Wright on radio, subject matter released fully,over"
"Copy that Wright, waiting for your arrival, keep bearing on east 135 degrees, over"
I knew at that moment, rent issues, settled for sure.
The flight went smoothly, just like departure and during mission. Then, the haze started to get thicker. Then, it's colour changed darker. She started to shake, and shaken hard did she get. My hands griped a little harder. The green crap must have worked fast. I'm Captain Wright, I'm used to this stuff. But at that very second, my hands gripped harder than any pilot had gripped a steer. I was struggling. I called on radio, but there was no respond. The signals were all blocked. The radars are jammed. Everything went haywire. Suddenly, her tail was hit. I flew across many storms.For Mary's sake,I flew THE West Haley storm back in '86, a storm nobody survives. I'm friends with storms. For sure, I'll bet you a thousand rich man dimes, that hit, was no old man Jenkins lightning. Not a single bolt of lightning at all. Not even another plane. My plane was hit by something else, and God right I don't know what was it.
Then, the government made a call. They started ordering planes with special gadgets, equipped with a special compartment containing a man-developed chemicals.Chemicals which will be ejaculated by the planes. Chemicals engineered by scientist. Chemicals which are certified for using, even though we don't really know their exact chemical composition. This special chemical are to be sprayed into the air. They were considered as seeds of rain. They will make rain and this rain will wash the haze away.
Calling on duty. Hi-hoa. This is your captain speaking. I'm Captain Wright, pilot assigned for every mission and quest carried, in purpose of saving mankind. This flight, was the first flight 2345 under government command. This flight is another adventure. This is my first time flying under government command. Yes, i grabbed it after a huge hesitation. I grabbed it hard for the sake of...well..my rent issues.
I suited up.I had my special shoes and hat on. I walked out. There she was, what a beauty. Then, there were a few people wearing red jump-suits, filling her empty tanks with some greenish liquid, and shut it tight they did.
"She's all yours now, Captain".
She was one fine piece of art, in the cockpit. There were...buttons...everywhere...and a digital navigator right in front of me. I never had a digital navigator on my personal sweetheart back home. I trust my guts, I don't need a digital navigator. Then, I was introduced to a yellow liver with a red button on top of it, by some other guy in a red jump-suit. That specific button will release the icky green goo, which will make rain.
At the field, where we're all lined up, awaiting the commands from the control tower, the feeling of excitement filled me. "I'm gonna fly this baby sweet!"
"Flight 2345 Wright heading west 45..."
"This is flight 2345 Wright awaiting for west 45, over"
"Flight 2345 Wright, take runway, proceed"
"Copy that"
She moved gracefully over the runway. Then, I gave a full throttle.
"Flight 2345 Wright altitude reading stable now...await order of releasement"
"Flight 2345 Wright, copy that, over"
She went smooth into the sky. This girl fly like she owned the sky. I just kept my bearing on west 45. In approximately 36 minutes, I'll receive my next order.
36 minutes flew by, like a duck knowing his luck in the oven. Then, the radio has 'spoken'.
"Flight 2345 Wright, order to release subject matter in 30 seconds"
"Flight 2345 Wright, copy that, await order"
The radar picked the signal up. I held on the yellow liver. My thumb released the cap.The red button was exposed, being totally under control of my thumb.
"Flight 2345 Wright, order to release subject matter in T-minus 10 seconds, 9..,8..,7..,6..,5..,4..,3..,2..1,..engaged"
My thumb responded. The rear of the plane jerked, The co-hatched opened. Then, the air was suddenly green.
The volume of the tank was signaled empty. The co-hatched shut automatically. My job was done. Now, to fly her safely back port through the thick haze.
"Home court,this is flight 2345 Wright on radio, subject matter released fully,over"
"Copy that Wright, waiting for your arrival, keep bearing on east 135 degrees, over"
I knew at that moment, rent issues, settled for sure.
The flight went smoothly, just like departure and during mission. Then, the haze started to get thicker. Then, it's colour changed darker. She started to shake, and shaken hard did she get. My hands griped a little harder. The green crap must have worked fast. I'm Captain Wright, I'm used to this stuff. But at that very second, my hands gripped harder than any pilot had gripped a steer. I was struggling. I called on radio, but there was no respond. The signals were all blocked. The radars are jammed. Everything went haywire. Suddenly, her tail was hit. I flew across many storms.For Mary's sake,I flew THE West Haley storm back in '86, a storm nobody survives. I'm friends with storms. For sure, I'll bet you a thousand rich man dimes, that hit, was no old man Jenkins lightning. Not a single bolt of lightning at all. Not even another plane. My plane was hit by something else, and God right I don't know what was it.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
TheLaVa's Fireflies (Owl City) Parody
You would not believe your eyes
If ten million Chinese guys
Drive up so fast in the city
Cause they bought a teddy bear
And simply toss it everywhere
you'd think its cool
But i pity the teddy bear
I'd like to make myself believe
That Chinese man will fry mee
It's hard to say that he'll reduce the
amount of MSG
Cause he's mee goreng is making me dizzy
Cause i got a Chinese bud
Who's best friends with a big strud
As he tried to teach the bird how to dance
A lantern above my head
Loh mai kai beneath my bed
A roasted chicken ,hanging by a thread
I'd like to make myself believe
That Chinese man will fry mee
It's hard to say that he'll reduce the
amount of MSG
Cause he's mee goreng is making me dizzy
Leave my door open for some air
(please take me for bak kut teh)
I want that Chinese man's teddy bear
(please take me for bak kut teh)
My friend Kong said she's not chinese
(please take me for bak kut teh)
But she's definitely not Lebanese
To ten million chinese guys
Who knows how to stir and fry
Are better cooks than Simon Cowell
But I'll know where several are
Famous chinese makan plaza
We can walk from my house cause its not too far
I'd like to make myself believe
That Chinese man will fry mee
It's hard to say that he'll reduce the
amount of MSG
Cause he's mee goreng is making me dizzy (x3)
-Salam Satu Malaysia everyone!!-
If ten million Chinese guys
Drive up so fast in the city
Cause they bought a teddy bear
And simply toss it everywhere
you'd think its cool
But i pity the teddy bear
I'd like to make myself believe
That Chinese man will fry mee
It's hard to say that he'll reduce the
amount of MSG
Cause he's mee goreng is making me dizzy
Cause i got a Chinese bud
Who's best friends with a big strud
As he tried to teach the bird how to dance
A lantern above my head
Loh mai kai beneath my bed
A roasted chicken ,hanging by a thread
I'd like to make myself believe
That Chinese man will fry mee
It's hard to say that he'll reduce the
amount of MSG
Cause he's mee goreng is making me dizzy
Leave my door open for some air
(please take me for bak kut teh)
I want that Chinese man's teddy bear
(please take me for bak kut teh)
My friend Kong said she's not chinese
(please take me for bak kut teh)
But she's definitely not Lebanese
To ten million chinese guys
Who knows how to stir and fry
Are better cooks than Simon Cowell
But I'll know where several are
Famous chinese makan plaza
We can walk from my house cause its not too far
I'd like to make myself believe
That Chinese man will fry mee
It's hard to say that he'll reduce the
amount of MSG
Cause he's mee goreng is making me dizzy (x3)
-Salam Satu Malaysia everyone!!-
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
JACK AND JILL
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.
So down them go ,tumbling down, their way was a little bumpy,
After that, came down the pail, tumbling down empty.
Jill woke up, a little woozy, and saw Jack fell upside down,
And he landed and crushed on a pretty flower, Jill gave him a big frown.
"Jack, you idiot, you crushed that poor flower"
"Woops! My dear, hope i did not crushed it into powder!"
"Forget the flower"said Jill, "Look what's inside!"
A little caterpillar, in the flower it hides.
The little fellow's unconscious, he did not move much,
To home they brought it, to save it with a gentle touch.
The caterpillar awakes, with a headache, in a Tupperware,
His where abouts and injuries is what he was not aware.
Then Jack and Jill came, to gave a look and see,
The frighten little fellow gave a shrilling scream of "eeeeeeee!"
"Do not fear" said Jill "A friend of little one",
"We saved you when you're out, before you're really done!"
" Then I thank you my friends, for what you've done for me",
"Now lets head for the garden, and have a time of sweeee!"
For so many days, fun and play they had together,
And play they did all day, despite of the moody weather.
One day, Jack and Jill went out to the garden, to meet their little friend,
Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.
So down them go ,tumbling down, their way was a little bumpy,
After that, came down the pail, tumbling down empty.
Jill woke up, a little woozy, and saw Jack fell upside down,
And he landed and crushed on a pretty flower, Jill gave him a big frown.
"Jack, you idiot, you crushed that poor flower"
"Woops! My dear, hope i did not crushed it into powder!"
"Forget the flower"said Jill, "Look what's inside!"
A little caterpillar, in the flower it hides.
The little fellow's unconscious, he did not move much,
To home they brought it, to save it with a gentle touch.
The caterpillar awakes, with a headache, in a Tupperware,
His where abouts and injuries is what he was not aware.
Then Jack and Jill came, to gave a look and see,
The frighten little fellow gave a shrilling scream of "eeeeeeee!"
"Do not fear" said Jill "A friend of little one",
"We saved you when you're out, before you're really done!"
" Then I thank you my friends, for what you've done for me",
"Now lets head for the garden, and have a time of sweeee!"
For so many days, fun and play they had together,
And play they did all day, despite of the moody weather.
One day, Jack and Jill went out to the garden, to meet their little friend,
Then they found out that their day's fun was at an end.
The caterpillar was not to be found but a large cocoon hanging,
Jack and Jill could do nothing, but sit they did and wondering.
After a week they wait, all lonely and weary,
Out came from the cocoon, a beautiful lady of a fairy.
"You saved my life, and helped me avoid being a bird's dish",
"For this good deed of yours, I'll grant you a wish".
Before Jill could say it, Jack shouted out his bill,
"A well which spurts out lots of Coke, sitting right up that hill!"
Then the fairy took her wand and gave it a wave,
while Jill sat angrily for Jack did not behave.
Then a bright light appeared, and the fairy vanished,
And Jack and Jill knew her work has now finished.
So up they went on the hill to fetch a pail or two of coke,
"We won't be tumbling down this time, Jill!", Jack gave out a poke.
So down they went, to sell their coke to the local pub,
Across the road they went to go out to the sub.
Thinking bout the money that soon will fall to their pockets be,
A huge truck came fast and gave a whack,
and you've guess it, they both mati.
Monday, December 28, 2009
MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE
Once upon a time (no better intro, sticking to classics), there's a young man named Johnny Boy. Well, i called him Johnny Boy because i just absolutely love typing.....
So Johnny was like walking on the beach one day, collecting sea shells and watching birds suffocate and die in oil spills. The sun was shining, like...hell. So, walking along the beach Johnny did, and shine in the sand did Johnny saw. A shine which caught his human eye, of a lens circled by his coloured iris. It was not the shine of the reflection of the sunlight on a diamond, or a polished shell, but a shine of an object of old age, eaten away chemically by the salt content of sea water. And walked towards the object with naked feet did Johnny did. No, naked feet of Johnny dance towards the curious shine. No, Johnny walked towards the shinny object...that's it.
Johnny found his toes facing the shinny object. Well, his toes don't really have faces.....and after the blinding shine of the sun disappears from his bodily shadow....the shadow of his body.... did Johnny found what was the cause of the shine, an old wine bottle which have drifted on the sandy shore. Picked the wine bottle Johnny did.....this is annoying.....Johnny picked the bottle, with his hands of course, as he is human. A bottle of wine, green is it's colour. It does not look that old. There was no sticker label on the bottle. It might get washed away in the waters anyway. A large imprint "PORTO" was on the other side of the bottle. "It's recent" Johnny thought. Nothing precious of an object. Was it worth to be made a part of his collection of things Johnny himself finds on the shores of his beach? The bottle fell back on the sand, where it was last picked up of.
So walk Johnny did...continued...whatever....
But then, a sudden pause pulled Johnny's feet towards the ground....gravity perhaps...A turned Johnny did. He turned and stared at the shine-ness of the bottle. Johnny gave the abandoned wine bottle a pregnant stare, a stare that lasted for nine months.....A pause enough to send signals to his male brain to connect a folder of previous memories. Then, of all memories scanned, a slide was played, of his father once read him a story of pirates and sailors, or adventures idiots, lost in sea, and sending their messages of distress as written pity beggars stuffed in a wine bottle.
Then, Johnny ran. Ran towards the bottle he did. Again he picked the same bottle. Well, that's the only bottle we know in this story. The bottle, carried by his two hands, was tilted at a higher degree, carried above the level of his head actually, stretching his arms towards the cloudless sky, in an alignment with the sun. In the semi transparent bottle of green pigment (note: this bottle cannot photosynthesise) did Johnny had sight of a small note. A note dry, well rolled and preserved from the salty sea water by its tight cork. No time to hesitate, Johnny brought the bottle to the level of his chest. With his wits, twisted the cork did Johnny did, and as hard as he could. Finally, Johnny won the battle.
He then tilted the bottle and the note slided easily out of the neck of the bottle. Johnny held the note in his hands. The bottle soon found where it started with Johnny, the sand. It means, Johnny dropped the bottle......Is it a note of a call of help? S.O.S? A secret about an anonymous mafia group? A treasure map perhaps?! His breathing accelerates. He's taking in a little more oxygen than he usually does. The adrenalin level in his blood increases. His fingers then worked on the note, moving to roll out the yellowish paper, to see its contents. Then, Johnny saw, the small paper, stained with blacked ink, hand written, in English, of romanize letters, a message for sure, which Johnny had prophesied from the beginning a message which he now reads in that burning afternoon, on that very beach...a message...to all.
"HAVE A BLESSED NEW YEAR (2010)"
"TheLaVa"
So Johnny was like walking on the beach one day, collecting sea shells and watching birds suffocate and die in oil spills. The sun was shining, like...hell. So, walking along the beach Johnny did, and shine in the sand did Johnny saw. A shine which caught his human eye, of a lens circled by his coloured iris. It was not the shine of the reflection of the sunlight on a diamond, or a polished shell, but a shine of an object of old age, eaten away chemically by the salt content of sea water. And walked towards the object with naked feet did Johnny did. No, naked feet of Johnny dance towards the curious shine. No, Johnny walked towards the shinny object...that's it.
Johnny found his toes facing the shinny object. Well, his toes don't really have faces.....and after the blinding shine of the sun disappears from his bodily shadow....the shadow of his body.... did Johnny found what was the cause of the shine, an old wine bottle which have drifted on the sandy shore. Picked the wine bottle Johnny did.....this is annoying.....Johnny picked the bottle, with his hands of course, as he is human. A bottle of wine, green is it's colour. It does not look that old. There was no sticker label on the bottle. It might get washed away in the waters anyway. A large imprint "PORTO" was on the other side of the bottle. "It's recent" Johnny thought. Nothing precious of an object. Was it worth to be made a part of his collection of things Johnny himself finds on the shores of his beach? The bottle fell back on the sand, where it was last picked up of.
So walk Johnny did...continued...whatever....
But then, a sudden pause pulled Johnny's feet towards the ground....gravity perhaps...A turned Johnny did. He turned and stared at the shine-ness of the bottle. Johnny gave the abandoned wine bottle a pregnant stare, a stare that lasted for nine months.....A pause enough to send signals to his male brain to connect a folder of previous memories. Then, of all memories scanned, a slide was played, of his father once read him a story of pirates and sailors, or adventures idiots, lost in sea, and sending their messages of distress as written pity beggars stuffed in a wine bottle.
Then, Johnny ran. Ran towards the bottle he did. Again he picked the same bottle. Well, that's the only bottle we know in this story. The bottle, carried by his two hands, was tilted at a higher degree, carried above the level of his head actually, stretching his arms towards the cloudless sky, in an alignment with the sun. In the semi transparent bottle of green pigment (note: this bottle cannot photosynthesise) did Johnny had sight of a small note. A note dry, well rolled and preserved from the salty sea water by its tight cork. No time to hesitate, Johnny brought the bottle to the level of his chest. With his wits, twisted the cork did Johnny did, and as hard as he could. Finally, Johnny won the battle.
He then tilted the bottle and the note slided easily out of the neck of the bottle. Johnny held the note in his hands. The bottle soon found where it started with Johnny, the sand. It means, Johnny dropped the bottle......Is it a note of a call of help? S.O.S? A secret about an anonymous mafia group? A treasure map perhaps?! His breathing accelerates. He's taking in a little more oxygen than he usually does. The adrenalin level in his blood increases. His fingers then worked on the note, moving to roll out the yellowish paper, to see its contents. Then, Johnny saw, the small paper, stained with blacked ink, hand written, in English, of romanize letters, a message for sure, which Johnny had prophesied from the beginning a message which he now reads in that burning afternoon, on that very beach...a message...to all.
"HAVE A BLESSED NEW YEAR (2010)"
"TheLaVa"
Sunday, December 27, 2009
SPCA
Right....
i have no stories yet, but i do have something to tell you
Once upon a time.....no, one day.....no, once,there was a....no....whatever...
about two weeks ago, TheLaVa was sitting at home...doing whatever, i cant exactly remember....
Then, her mom, who was out for a while gave a wild whacked on the door!!...no, just kidding....she gave a knocked on the door. TheLaVa opened the door.
Mom: Look, there's a young cat in front of our house and he's injured. i think he broke his leg. He could not move much.
TheLaVa: the fellow OK or not??
Mom: Well, he could not move much....we should do something
And so TheLaVa set on a journey to inspect the cat, and to find it well, healthy, but had snapped his bone
She carried him to a corner for warmth and served milk.
In SPCA office, the phone rang...
Lady: hello, spca jalan Ampang, can i help you?
TheLaVa: hello lady, theres a cat in front of my house, he broke his leg. some fellow thrown him from god knows what floor. come help.
Lady: i cannot come there miss, you have to send the cat here
TheLaVa: Then what are you going to do with him?
Lady; we'll put it to sleep.
TheLaVa: lady, you serious?? he just broke one leg!!! just help me balut the leg!!!
Lady: but we will still put it to sleep
TheLaVa: the fellow is drinking milk, sitting down happily with his gooooooogly eyes, and you want to put him to sleep??
Lady: we have no choice, that's what we will do
TheLaVa: why. cant you just balut his leg?
Lady: we will balut his leg...then put him to sleep
TheLaVa: why you have to do that?
Lady: because...theres too many cats here....
TheLaVa: so, if i broke my leg...then was sent to a hospital, they will put me to sleep because theres too many people?
Lady:........
Then, she hung up.....
Go SPCA!!!!!!
p.s cat is fine, able to walk slowly, thanks to....MILK!!!!!!
i have no stories yet, but i do have something to tell you
Once upon a time.....no, one day.....no, once,there was a....no....whatever...
about two weeks ago, TheLaVa was sitting at home...doing whatever, i cant exactly remember....
Then, her mom, who was out for a while gave a wild whacked on the door!!...no, just kidding....she gave a knocked on the door. TheLaVa opened the door.
Mom: Look, there's a young cat in front of our house and he's injured. i think he broke his leg. He could not move much.
TheLaVa: the fellow OK or not??
Mom: Well, he could not move much....we should do something
And so TheLaVa set on a journey to inspect the cat, and to find it well, healthy, but had snapped his bone
She carried him to a corner for warmth and served milk.
In SPCA office, the phone rang...
Lady: hello, spca jalan Ampang, can i help you?
TheLaVa: hello lady, theres a cat in front of my house, he broke his leg. some fellow thrown him from god knows what floor. come help.
Lady: i cannot come there miss, you have to send the cat here
TheLaVa: Then what are you going to do with him?
Lady; we'll put it to sleep.
TheLaVa: lady, you serious?? he just broke one leg!!! just help me balut the leg!!!
Lady: but we will still put it to sleep
TheLaVa: the fellow is drinking milk, sitting down happily with his gooooooogly eyes, and you want to put him to sleep??
Lady: we have no choice, that's what we will do
TheLaVa: why. cant you just balut his leg?
Lady: we will balut his leg...then put him to sleep
TheLaVa: why you have to do that?
Lady: because...theres too many cats here....
TheLaVa: so, if i broke my leg...then was sent to a hospital, they will put me to sleep because theres too many people?
Lady:........
Then, she hung up.....
Go SPCA!!!!!!
p.s cat is fine, able to walk slowly, thanks to....MILK!!!!!!
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